Nation Already Sick Of Baseball
WASHINGTON—With the MLB season still less than a week old, millions of weary Americans across the country confirmed Wednesday that they were already sick of baseball. “Three innings into opening day and I was completely bored to death,” said 36-year-old Michael Simpkins, echoing the sentiment of the entire U.S. populace while expressing that he could not wait for the tedious MLB season to finally end. “I was sort of excited before the game, but once they started playing I immediately realized that I couldn’t take one more second of this unwatchable shit.” At press time, the nation was reportedly reading articles on the NFL Draft and asked reporters to let them know who won the World Series.
Seared Salmon with Summer Vegetables Recipe
This simple seared salmon is paired with summer vegetables for a classic, light meal. Get the recipe at Food & Wine.
Horrible take. It calms me and takes me to a past life of simpler times. I love it. 💙 Other part of headline: ....but sleep increases ndove8 That's why they went to jack in the box Hahaha nobody cares LOL Sports Sportsball Baseball Nevah!! Or rounders as we know it.. Cancel my subscription. EmptySeatsPics
Oh, I am way ahead on this one! 💪 Especially Royals fans NEVER! baseballislife OpeningDay2021 americassport Cubs Reds DailyCardsNews ❤️⚾️🤍⚾️💙 Fake news! BratSimon Hit her with the Venmo for subtweeting mikelongPCVLR GreatBigIdiot maybe this country isn't doomed If the onion tweets on April fools, Does it mean it's the truth?
jasongay Baseball haters look forward to Opening Day even more than baseball fans do, I think Walldo Not like this, Onion... The Onion, thank you for speaking for the Silent Majority. x 10000 DKalltheway bhadley16 this sums up baseball...unless I can go to the stadium. I do like a good Bees game in the summer, we sit in the GA and let the girls run and play on the grass.
Baseball is pancakes boooooo Your finest tweet :( No. Must be a Mariners fan. Damn they must all be cubs fans No one bats thousand, not even the Onion That’s so 1982. Wait, do I take the base when I run past it? Do I throw the ball at the base? Why do the Orioles always suck? But the ball is never actually on the base? WTF even is this?
metspolice jb_daddy Damn patrickhwillems they said fuck your video essay Not a fan of all the standing around and lack of action. I love baseball but I don't think I'm going to make it nearly 4 hours for this Cardinals game. I'm a watch the first inning, go eat dinner, watch a movie, then watch the end kind of guy.
It's 'bout time they jazzed it up. Too soon onion, too soon baseballkick is this true!? If we lost Baseball on TV, it would be replaced with Golf. That can't be good for anyone.