I have been married for 24 years. My wife and I have two 18-year-old children. We have had our marital ups and downs as many do, but manage to get along. My wife was diagnosed with a terminal degenerative neurological condition.
My wife’s family is largely dysfunctional, and her father abandoned her as a young child, never returning in any meaningful way or providing support aside from cards and perfunctory holiday pleasantries. I do not get along with my father in law and have largely avoided him entirely. I also advise you to talk to your wife about officially becoming her health-care proxy, so you will be in control of making any life or death decisions concerning her condition. Alternatively, talk to a lawyer about this. “It’s smart to have a health-care proxy, no matter how old you are or whether or not you’re married,” according to Care.com.
But there is no reason to assume the same will happen here. You will feel less anxious about your father-in-law’s interference when you speak up. You don’t have to be held hostage to other people’s wishes. Let’s assume he wants what he believes is best for his daughter. You simply have a different opinion and approach. He can’t force you to sell your home or refinance your home to do something you don’t want to do.
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