Article_Normal, Banking/Credit, Consumer Products, Political/General News, Society/Community, Consumer Affairs, Education, Living/Lifestyle, Content Types

Article_Normal, Banking/Credit

My son has ‘lazyitis.’ He only contacts me on birthdays and Mother’s Day. I fear that inheriting my estate will only make him worse

‘I am a single parent of an adult son. I have worked my butt off to be able to provide my son with a good upbringing.’

8/1/2021 6:40:00 AM

My adult son doesn't have much motivation to find a job or pursue higher education. I'm worried that if he inherits my money, he'll be lazy forever. What should I do, Moneyist?

‘I am a single parent of an adult son. I have worked my butt off to be able to provide my son with a good upbringing.’

I am in my early 40s. I am a single parent of an adult son. I have worked my butt off to be able to provide my son with a good upbringing. I earn good money and have excellent benefits through my employer.My savings are not significant at this point, as I am learning how to manage my money better. Regardless, if I were to pass away today, the amount of money in question is not insignificant.

Pfizer says COVID-19 vaccine works in kids ages 5 to 11 Pfizer says COVID-19 vaccine safe, effective for kids ages 5 to 11 At least 8 dead in shooting at Russian university, police say

My son is very self-centered, more so than the average person his age. He has yet to get a job, despite being more than capable. This is entirely due to his not putting sufficient effort into finding a job. He has proclaimed that he has “lazyitis”.One summer, when I suggested he increase his efforts to find a job when he wasn’t getting calls for interviews, he took it as a personal attack, as if I said he wasn’t doing anything. He took a year off after high school and has been upgrading his marks for the last two years.

“ ‘I will no longer entertain the idea of him living with me, because my mental health suffers when we live together.’ ”He talks vaguely about maybe entering post-secondary education, but has not applied for anything. I have tried to help facilitate his job search by forwarding opportunities that I hear about to him. As he is an adult, I try to keep the nagging to a minimum. headtopics.com

He is not living at home because he does not follow the living agreement that he agreed to when he moved in last. I will no longer entertain the idea of him living with me, because my mental health suffers when we live together.My son is currently living with a relative who has been an enabler for him in the past. I struggle with feeling used in our relationship, as he is not grateful for what he gets. He rarely reaches out to me aside from the “expected” occasions (birthday, Mother’s Day), though we usually get along in each other’s company, as long as I don’t expect him to do things he doesn’t want to do.

I do not currently have a will. Without a will, everything will go to my son. At this time, this is not what I want. I do not want all of my hard work and efforts to go toward supporting my son when he has done so little to support himself.I have no problem with leaving him my estate if he’s actually taking actions to support himself. I just don’t want to reinforce the lifestyle he is currently living and his “lazyitis.” How can I communicate this in a will, or otherwise make my wishes known?

Frustrated ParentYou can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.Dear Frustrated,It’s your life and your money, and you are free to do whatever you want with it. You are correct: If you die without a will, your son is your legal and sole beneficiary and would inherit everything. If you wish to help incentivize him, you can certainly give it a shot through a trust. It may help him, but I am skeptical that you will ever be able to change him.

You could set up a trust to provide an income with conditions like going to college or getting a job. As Angie O’Leary, the head of wealth planning at RBC Wealth Management, says: “Incentive trusts, in particular, can serve as solid compromises, as they are designed to encourage or discourage certain behaviors by using distributions of trust income or principal as an incentive.” headtopics.com

The Latest: Islamic State militants claim attacks on Taliban Shooting in Russian university leaves 8 dead Pfizer Prepares To Seek U.S., EU Approval For Its Covid Vaccine In Kids As Young As Five

“In practical terms, this could mean that an adult beneficiary would collect distributions after meeting specified requirements, such as attending a treatment program or complying with routine drug tests,” she adds. “On the other hand, he or she might not receive distributions after failing to attend regular substance abuse counseling sessions.”

These kinds of vehicles can help prevent an adult child with behavioral problems from spending their inheritance recklessly, or falling foul to schemes or bad influences from other people in their life. It is an alternative to completely cutting your son out of your will.

“ If he knew in advance that he would need to reach certain milestones to receive a cash sum, he may be more likely to get his act together. ”There are rules for such trusts, however. You cannot obviously suggest the beneficiary do anything that might violate state or federal law, and your conditions must be specific and avoid any ambiguity. For example, your son could likely challenge a condition that he marry a woman if, for example, he were gay, or that he marry a person of a certain religion.

The good news is that you are young, and if your son is waiting for his inheritance and planning on living the life of Reilly before then, he will hopefully have a long wait.In the meantime, it may also be a good idea to let him know that you would like to leave a provision for him in your will so he could use money for an education, overseen by a trustee. If he knew in advance that he would need to reach certain milestones to receive a cash sum, he may be more likely to get his act together sooner rather than later. headtopics.com

I would not hold out too much hope for that, however. Given what you say, we should be realistic about his ability or willingness to change. It may be that no amount of carrot or stick will force him to do that.By emailing your questions, you agree to having them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Company, the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

The AP Interview: UN chief warns China, US to avoid Cold War Miley Cyrus Addresses Panic Attack During Summerfest Performance Hyundai Making Big Hydrogen Push With Cheaper Fuel Cells For Trucks, Drones And Sports Car

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually. Read more: MarketWatch »

Water music: London canal boat serves as floating concert hall

Music lovers in London can now enjoy classical performances with a difference - on a canal boat traversing the city's waterways.

lazy son=poor parenting fr young age Pay attention, the first thing you gotta do, is deposit a good sum into my account, I’ll put it to good use. We’ll discuss the next step from there 🙍🏼‍♂️ Spend that shmoney Puts on $SPY no way he'd get it after that. Take your self on lots of holidays Spend it! good My step son is exactly like this!!! At least he has a job but he does live with us. Does absolutely nothing around the house to help out. No skills, no ambition, and extremely lazy.

Make him work labor jobs for 5 year without quitting to get your money. Simple. Make a clause in your will they have to attend and graduate a four year college to receive it. Don’t die

Jade Roper Tolbert's Son Brooks Is an Adorable But Unhappy Dinosaur on His 2nd Birthday - E! OnlineIt's his party, and he'll cry if he wants to! Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert's son Brooks wasn't very thrilled about his dinosaur costume for his birthday celebration.

Tell him to stop going to Democratic Socialist meetings! 🤣 CancelSocialism Once the pandemic lifts plan a world tour for yourself. Spend your hard-earned cash on yourself. If he's not in college or disabled the buck should have stopped at 18. You're enabling him and there will never be enough money for him because he has no understanding of earning it.

Males Over30 and still living at home with Mom? UGH. If he needs someone to help him spend, ...im here😂😹 this is terrible news Let me get it instead

Primary Wave Quietly Amasses Largest Individual Share in Prince's EstatePrimary Wave has acquired 42% of Prince’s estate from three our of his six heirs, making the publishing company the largest share holder of the late artist’s holdings. okay

Real Estate newsletter: COVID-19 fortune fuels a real estate shopping spreeWelcome back to the Real Estate newsletter, which this week delivers more drama than the usual celebrity-fueled luxury deals.

Chinese-Canadian Pop Singer Kris Wu Detained on Suspicion of RapeThe rapper's detainment by Chinese police follows allegations made by a 19-year-old former fan, who accused Wu of having sex with her while she was drunk. :( Sick M***F***er I love the smell of consequences in the morning

Prince’s Heirs, Music Publisher Seek to Make It Rain Purple—And GreenPrince’s music is attracting new investment as Primary Wave has acquired the largest interest in the Prince estate, according to legal documents, positioning the music publisher to steer the legacy of the late pop star, who died without a will

Arnold Schwarzenegger Gets Birthday Love From His Kids on 74th B-DayKatherine, Christina and Patrick Schwarzenegger and Joseph Baena all wished their father a happy birthday. Happy birthday Arnold! Including the one he had with the maid?