'My Son Can't Help It — So I Don't Punish Him'

He shouts, he swears, he calls me names — but I know it's his ADHD talking. That's why, when my child misbehaves, I work hard to ignore it and remember that sometimes punishments for kids with ADHD are counterproductive.

12/1/2021 5:02:00 PM

He shouts, he swears, he calls me names — but I know it’s his ADHD talking. That’s why, when my child misbehaves, I work hard to ignore it and remember that sometimes punishments for kids with ADHD are counterproductive.

He shouts, he swears, he calls me names — but I know it's his ADHD talking. That's why, when my child misbehaves, I work hard to ignore it and remember that sometimes punishments for kids with ADHD are counterproductive.

“No! I hate you! You’re stupid! You’re mean! You’re a fricking jerk!” My 10-year-old screams this, responding to a request to find his shoes before we head out to playgroup. I want to scream back, or start doling out punishments, to make him stop calling me names and to stop swearing. I want to hand out a consequence. I want to make it so he never acts like this again. Instead, I take several deep breaths, swallow hard, and wait a beat, trying hard to ignore his words.

Such Unluckly Moment Has Never Been Seen! The Scariest Sports Accidents

He quits screaming. I wait another beat, and he starts pulling on his shoes. “Will Quinn be there?” he asks sweetly. “I like Quinn.” It’s as if nothing has happened.Let the Storm PassThis is a battle I often fight — not the battle with my child, his temper, and his choice of words — but a battle against myself. Squelching my first reaction to his

oppositional behavior, to make room for what I’ve learned works: Let the storm pass, ignore, wait that magical beat. But it’s hard to do, because when he yells, screams, defies my requests, my temper flares and I worry and get scared. Scared that a 10-year-old who screams at his mother will become a 12-year-old who hits her. headtopics.com

My fear, born in worries that are out of control, has imagined my child’s potty mouth leading to a life sentence for armed robbery. That’s where my mind goes when I worry about my child’s future. That’s where all our minds go, the parents of children with serious behavior problems. That’s where everyone’s mind goes when they see a child who talks back and swears at his parents, who throws tantrums well past pre-K. Take care of these problems now, because they will get worse. If you give in, you’re a terrible mother. It’s American Parenting 101.

Fmr. OSHA Chief after SCOTUS shuts down vaxx requirement : “I believe in my heart that they don’t care”

This might be standard advice, but it’s not the parenting my child needs. I tried it for years, and it made our problems worse. Only recently, when I’m able to refuse to punish him or react to his offensive behaviors, have his actions and mood improved. His swearing has declined, and his defiance is almost a thing of the past. This is because he’s not misbehaving on purpose. Because of his neuro-behavioral differences, he is not in control of his actions.

[Get This Free Download: 10 Ways to Neutralize Your Child’s Anger]His oppositionality is a symptom of his brain differences, and punishing these behaviors is like punishing a blind person for not being able to see. It’s instinctual to punish. It takes effort to suppress the worries. We work at it every single day. But in our situation, suppression works.

Giving Up on Consequences

Read more: ADDitude »

Binance Fan Tokens - All you need to know

All you need to know about #Binance Fan Tokens. Fan Token platform: https://ter.li/FanTokenMore information can be found here: https://ter.li/what-are-binanc...

Study: Risk-Taking Behavior May Predict ADHD, ODD in ChildrenA new study suggests that young children who are motivated to approach an enticing source of stimulation (i.e. a stranger with candy) despite associated risks of dangers are more likely to exhibit school-age symptoms of ADHD and comorbid ODD, as well as callous-unemotional traits, according to a longitudinal study of roughly 200 preschool and school-age children. May I suggest less use of abbreviations in the articles? As someone with adhd, I struggle through reading the article with too many Adhd/odd, ic, cd etc coming in small paragraphs. Hope you take in to consideration. Thanks.

What Holiday Movie You Should Watch, According to Your Zodiac SignOr you could just watch all of them, we won't judge... 🤷‍♀️

Not worried.... Even if it did... Can we capture it and extract the diamonds and gold in it? Not hitting Earth? Damn.

Black businesses turned to fintechs to get PPP loans, per a working paperFintechs helped Black-owned small businesses get access to PPP loans during the pandemic more than banks did. It's weird. 金融科技公司在流感大流行期间比银行更能帮助黑人所有的小企业获得PPP贷款。真奇怪。

Active 2021 Atlantic hurricane season officially ends | National Oceanic and Atmospheric AdministrationAtlantic HurricaneSeason 2021: Climate factors that influenced the record-breaking season include ongoing La Niña + warmer-than-avg sea surface temps & above-average West African Monsoon rainfall The Henri/Ida double shot to southern NY is up there next to Sandy for 'things I never want to experience again'. Here's hoping for a quiet, landfall-free 2022. Peter looks like a pretty nice day! NWS I wouldn’t want to mess with Larry.

There’s a ‘Christmas Story’ Advent Calendar & It Includes Ralphie’s Glasses—Get It Before Dec. 1It's the perfect way to relive a holiday classic.