When I was growing up, people would ask me what I wanted to be, and I told them, “.” I’ve been an aunt since I was ten years old. I’ve always been around babies—it’s always something I’ve loved.
So after a year and a half of all these tests, they basically came to the conclusion that I have premature ovarian failure. It just means that myI remember Tyler picking me up and I was crying in the car telling him. He said, “Well, this doesn’t change anything for us.” We had already had a prior conversation thatwas something that was in our hearts to do. Then I remember telling my sisters what the doctor had said, and my older sister, Bailey, said, “One of us will carry for you.
I told her: “Look, Bailey. You don’t have to do this. We can figure out other ways to have a family,” and she said she wanted to. My husband thought the same thing. He was apprehensive about having someone else going through that type of stuff for us. But once Bailey and her husband both said they wanted to give us this gift, he was on board.
Losing that pregnancy, and going through that with someone else, was very interesting to navigate. I was trying to balance letting myself feel the feelings and also not wanting Bailey to feel like she let us down, because she didn’t. It was just sad. I know that she was obviously super sad too, feeling like, “My body is not doing what it’s supposed to do,” even though it wasn’t her fault. It just happens.
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