My Partner Is Very Clear About What They Want During Sex—and My Attempts to Do It Are Literally Comical

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Dear How to Do It: I have zero idea how to do this kind of sex properly.

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: Practice, practice, practice. Their partner is already feeding them lines. All they need to do is rehearse.: I admire the writer’s partner here for coming prepared with a script. A lot of partners who request a more verbal performance do not do this, and so their request is vague. And then it’s like, “You’re asking them not only to step outside of their comfort zone, but also write for you?” It’s too much. I think you can overburden a partner by forcing them to be creative.

If this is a semantics issue, maybe the semantics need to be cut out.: Oooh. Sort of like withholding pain from a masochist. The sub is beneath verbal labor. The occasional demeaning banter is reserved as a treat.: Getting psychological with it in that way might, in fact, be the perfect compromise. I also wonder if there’s a way to alternate between sessions in which the partner gets the domination they want during play, and then the next time the writer gets to express themselves emotionally.

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