Ok look — I’m a good parent. I love my kids, I’m fun-ish, and I try to raise my children practically. My wife and I look at each parenting situation not through lenses tinged with that saccharine faux-nostalgia perpetuated by family movies — but with empirical evidence and reason.But this year, my practicality coupled with my daughter’s new passion for free-market economics brought about an untimely demise for the diabetic philanthropist known as Santa Claus.
Back in November I suggest our daughter ask Santa for a new bike since she was learning to ride a two-wheeler. She agrees, and boom: Christmas shopping is done a month early, great job awesome dad. So my wife and I are at a crossroads. Normal parents would have considered returning the bike and buying this piece of equestrian garbage, but as usual we take the utilitarian approach.
So we decide Santa will not be cramming a Water Nokk down our chimney. We reason she might be a little disappointed on Christmas — but she’ll learn the important lesson that you can’t always get what you want.
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