“My History Has Taught Me That I Can’t Fully Rely Upon Other Women for Sisterhood”

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'Any ambiguity or nonconformity, especially in relation to gender, conjures terror'

Vivek Shraya is the ultimate multihyphenate—an author, a musician, an artist and most recently, a creative writing teacher at the University of Calgary. In her timely new book, I’m Afraid Of Men , Shraya uses an unconventional poetry-meets-memoir structure to explore and interrogate notions of masculinity. In this exclusive excerpt, she considers the complicated interplay of gender and power from her perspective as a trans woman.

Those giggles reverberate in my ears as permanently as the boy’s spit blemished my mother’s jacket.

Out of this fear comes a desire not only to reimagine masculinity but to blur gendered boundaries altogether and celebrate gender creativity. It’s not enough to let go of the misplaced hope for a good or a better man. It’s not enough to honour femininity. Both of these options might offer a momentary respite from the dangers of masculinity, but in the end they only perpetuate a binary and the pressure that bears down when we live at different ends of the spectrum.

 

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