I am about to graduate from college and I have no true friends to show for it. I have always been an introverted person. I struggle to truly connect and maintain friendships. The college friend group that I thought would break that pattern is not passing the trial of COVID. This year, I spent New Year’s Eve completely alone for the first time in my life and it’s made me realize that I need a major change.
But then I spent New Year’s Eve mourning the end of my relationship while watching my friends have fun without me on social media. Despite reaching out to them in advance to try and get together, everyone had something else to do. I understand that I’m not the only person in my friends’ lives but I feel like I’m never a first choice. At the risk of sounding self-pitying, I had no one to talk to about the breakup and no plans to distract myself with. I never want to experience that again.
But you’d better lure them onto that rocket ship immediately, because it’ll only get harder as you get older. Soon you’ll be much less persuasive, less charming, less interesting, and less attractive, plus you’ll have zero access to new friends . As time goes on, you’ll only grow lonelier and creepier and more desperate.
Some people don’t want that. Lots of people don’t want that. But trust me, those aren’t your people. And right now, it’s time to stop trying to be a person other people will like and time to start showing people your true self, even when your true self seems pointy and wretched and fucked up. Friends are everywhere. Wise people make new friends constantly, at the age of 50, 70, 90. There is no time limit or friendship maximum. People show up and you let them in if it feels right. You say no if it doesn’t. You are not a beggar. You get to choose. You ask for what you want. You listen to what they need.
you have full room for real friends.
hhavrilesky 🙄🙄🙄
Do these people not make friends at work anymore? Literally all my post 30 friends are work friends and they’re awesome
hhavrilesky
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