My Divorce Helped Me Become a More Present Father, Because I Had to Learn Balance

In an excerpt from his book Now What?, @steveadams933 shares how he learned balance.

15.8.2019

In an excerpt from his book Now What?, steveadams933 shares how he learned balance.

In his book, Now What? A Divorced Dad's Guide to Parenting Excellence — available for purchase on Amazon now — Steve Adams explores how fathers can

— Steve Adams explores how fathers can remain active in their kids' lives after divorce, as he learned first-hand. Adams revised his priorities, focused on parenting, and established a set of principles that worked for him, one of which is balance. In the excerpt below, Adams writes about how learning to balance his career and family life changed his relationship with his children.

I knew one thing: As they say, a door had slammed shut behind me and another was opening up. If I wanted to be the father I knew I should be, I couldn't keep doing what I'd been doing, certainly not at the level I'd been accustomed to doing it. Did I want to be an effective father? Yes. Then I had to make some changes and find some balance in my life.

By the way, the joy of successful accomplishment is worth it all. Not just those isolated moments of seeing my son sink a free throw or my daughter ace an exam. It's the cumulative total of seeing them turn into worthwhile adults, admirable human beings, able to make good decisions and think for themselves. That's the reward of it all.

Okay, big shot. You fought for 'em. You got 'em. What now?

You can't be there for them if you're not there all the time. You can't take them to the movies and text the whole time. You can't be sitting in a restaurant with them and keep answering your damn phone.

I know some people pride themselves on their perfect attendance record at work. But how's their attendance record at home? Are they always present in their kids' lives? How well do they complete that set of goals every day?

And you still go out on sales calls, serve your clients, punch your time clock, show up for meetings, and meet your commitments.

by Steve Adams. Copyright © 2019 by the author and reprinted with permission of Butler Books.

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