The situations are different—a global pandemic versus the—but the anxiety is familiar. The questions that keep me distracted during the day and awake at night are identical: What will tomorrow look like? When will it be easier to breathe? Is there any way to make this—all of this—feel just a little lighter?feels too familiar. That fluttery, middle of the night sense that things are spiraling out of my control is back.
As a global pandemic sweeps the globe, my anxiety levels have returned to heights seen only in the weeks and months following the night my young husband died of a vicious brain cancer. It wasn’t a moment of clarity or some sudden ability to take a breath before I reacted in a way I’d later regret. It wasn’t a combination of time and settling into a new normal or even learning to live in the present rather than following a trail of “what ifs” into a murky future.
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