SPACE—Earth’s moon, the planet’s only natural satellite and the fifth-largest moon in the solar system, reportedly died Monday at the age of 29. Born Jefferson Gene Leach in 1993, the planetary-mass object was raised in poverty on the streets of Brownsville, Brooklyn, dropping out of school to work several part-time jobs while honing its passion for pulling the Earth’s tides at night.
Though the moon was still making its rounds in the celestial scene, its fame was in decline by 2011, and its struggle with substance abuse worsened. In 2019, the moon was rocked by scandal when its name showed up on the flight logs of a private jet owned by sex offender and disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein. In the years remaining before its untimely death, the moon became something of a recluse, only making the odd appearance for performances of the solar eclipse to make ends meet.
Davecat AnnieLooney4 Did you hear this Oh my gods. She was so young!! :-(
We all knew who was behind this
Good riddance, that fucker was on Epstein's logs
It died how it lived and left a beautiful corpse
Goodnight sweet princess
Terror
Why am I laighing so hard I must be secretly depressed.
Hahahaha
Too soon.
at last all the people who had the werewolf curse are free at last.
Gone too soon
Why does suck now?
Moon shot dead in houston
F
I'm the same age as the moon.
It's no age to go
Musta got the jab I bet
RIP you'll be missed
wish i was the moon rn
Only two years older than me. Damn.
Galileo908 Keith Moon died at 32
LOL the moon can’t die! You guys are so whacky
F
Taken from us too soon 😞
shame.
Shit. AnimeGirl568 did you hear about this?
nah how bro die?
This is why we need to take guns awY
RIP in peace Moon Moon
couldn't even make it to 30 smh..
MoonlightRift Nuuuu ;w;
Lunealaru rest in peace 💔
honestly same
Take a glance at that picture? In the 1st second of the 'bang' LOOK at the distance traveled. Then? Notice the distance traveled after 3 minutes? After 300 thousand years? After 1 thousand million years? Do you see it? Slowing Wayyyy down... Then? Stop
Rip a real one
must have fell
We have just the ONE!!!!! ;-(......
How am I gonna wash my clothes? No more Tide.
Lucky
Gone too soon 💔
F
RIP
Good night, Moon
ok
sorry for your loss lunasorcery
But NASA will still spend Billions on fake ass dead moon mission. sad.
Damn man. Loved the Moon’s early stuff. Certainly a worthy entry into the 29 Club along with Brandon Lee, River Phoenix, and the version of Pluto that was considered a planet.
They can just recast it for the sequel NBD
I had a dream literally last night there were two moons, one was real the other was an imposter, fake moon
I’ve outlived the Moon! That’s a shocker
FunkyBrickHouse 😆
This was very funny 😂
We sit here asking ourselves, 'what made that Luna tick?'
big if true
Cause of death The jab
Davecat No problem . Will just thaw out another one
How can you tell? I mean it looks the same, it kinda looked dead every time I've seen it. Was it NASA shooting a dart at it when nobody was looking?
We hardly knew ye
So who is moon now?...
Oh that's sad. I had wondered what had happened to it when it went away last night. Ah well, hope it had a good life I guess. :(
Saw this on TMZ first, so I had to check Twitter to make sure. ☹️
Is that the same moon that was split or cleft asunder as described in the Quran, Hadiths and Tafsir?
Got the jab, then got the SMD (Sudden Moon Death) ◇ Nothing to see here folks!
What about the Mooninites?
She just died? Wow. I didn’t know that. You’re telling me now for the first time. She led an amazing life. What else can you say? She was an amazing woman. Whether you agreed or not, she was an amazing woman who led an amazing life. I’m actually saddened to hear that.
RIP
rip 😔✊🏽
I always ragged on the guy but I really did want him to succeed. Prayers for his loved ones.
They ended up dying because they didnt get the vaccine
I should send flowers.
RIP in peace
Oh man.
Liza Minnelli has outlived the moon
Moon to lie in state as space junk, satellites pay their respects to pioneer in their business
It was time.
Dude rip…
Fake: if it's 29, what did the astronauts land on 50 years ago?
New mooned it 😒
Heartbreaking and earth shattering news
When the Mars hits your eye like a big pizza pie 🍕🤌🎶
The vaccine will be blamed.
You hate to see them go so young. 😪
Fentanyl gets another one
Tribute merch available at my store.
Great. Just great. I promised that to my wife. You don’t want to disappoint her. Trust me.
It had a good run
The moon is such a drama queen
Holograms cant die, Onion. Sell that sh*t to someone else!
Spuddd7
Was about time we got rid of it anyway
'Someone shot nostalgia in the back...' Who Killed Mr. Moonlight? -- Bauhaus, 1983
Such a full life... I don't envy the poor writer of that orbit.
NO WAY!!! 🎉🎉🎉
honeyimas
Well, look who he hung around with.
rest in cheese
Hahahahahhahahahahhahahhahaha!! Dang, now this is funny 😂
I read this in Jeremy Piven's voice (scene from Serendipity)
Damn, whole life orbit of it
Fent?
Poor Keith.
He was living on the dark side...
Gone way too soon…
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
And all the Nazis at the back of the moon are celebrating 😅
Thoughts and prayers.
So unfortunate
Was it vaccinated?
At the crack of his life
Rip bozo
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