Mom Remembers Old Days When You Could Let Kids Run Free On Thresher Without Supervision

SALEM, OR—Wistfully recalling the hours spent running and jumping around the machine’s high-powered, motorized blades, local mother Jessica Halpern told reporters Friday she missed the good old days when you could let kids run free on a thresher without supervision.

“I remember growing up, there wasn’t always an adult around—in fact, my friends and I would spend our days playing on grain threshers, swathers, and combine harvesters without our parents keeping an eye on us, all day and all night,” said Halpern, adding that yes, sometimes kids would get sucked into the machine, but that’s the kind of thing that just builds character.

It was an old hay bailer for us.🤣

How are Stumpy, Limpy and Lefty, anyway?

Or give them a steak knife to play with. Now, strictly the butter knife only

It works this way: they take lots of photos of me and then choose the ones in which I appear looking serious. 🤗 Simple manipulation.

Good to know she's nostalgically remembering brutally lethal farm equipment as opposed to talking about some disgusting sex website where it's icky creators are featuring some Urban Dictionary-type of move called 'the thresher'.

I miss the good old days when grandpa would hand one kid the blasting caps the other a box of dynamite and point us to the bayou to go have fun 😎

My parents just taped a ten dollar bill to my forehead and left me at the bus station. The legal fees were still cheaper than daycare.

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