Mom Explains New Wildly Ill-Informed Measures To Keep Family Safe During Thanksgiving

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HOLLYWOOD, FL—Calling her dinner plan “foolproof” despite varying significantly from recommendations issued by the CDC, area mother Jill Elliott explained several new, wildly ill-informed measures Monday to keep her family safe during Thanksgiving. “I’ve been doing my research, and I think if I sit the whole family at…

HOLLYWOOD, FL—Calling her dinner plan “foolproof” despite varying significantly from recommendations issued by the CDC, area mother Jill Elliott explained several new, wildly ill-informed measures Monday to keep her family safe during Thanksgiving. “I’ve been doing my research, and I think if I sit the whole family at an extra-

long table, give everyone their own disposable silverware, and spray some Lysol into the air every few minutes between courses, we should be a-okay,” said Elliott, holding up several bottles of hand sanitizer in one hand and a box fan in the other while listing off various well-intentionedbase strategies for preventing the spread of coronavirus.

 

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Explained she spit in the food because she had covid, got her two shots, got a booster,took the new pill , and a booster to the pill and wanted to share her antibodies with friends and family.

Everyone take a spray of colloidal silver before eating.

Dental dams.

Like condoms?

Luckily will be ignored by the uncles anyway

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