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Misgendering: What it is and why it matters - Harvard Health

For people who are transgender or nonbinary, being misgendered may be a daily occurrence. When this happens, people feel invalidated and unseen, and the burden can negatively affect their mental he...

7/24/2021 8:00:00 PM

For people who are transgender or nonbinary, being misgendered may be a daily occurrence. When this happens, people feel invalidated and unseen, and the burden can negatively affect their mental health: HarvardHealth

For people who are transgender or nonbinary, being misgendered may be a daily occurrence. When this happens, people feel invalidated and unseen, and the burden can negatively affect their mental he...

Mx(pronounced "mix"). But using the right terms is critically important for supporting and respecting TNB people.A few tips and toolsTry not to make assumptions about a person’s name, pronouns, or honorifics based on how they look. The only way to know for sure what terms a person uses is to ask them in private ("What pronouns do you use?"). Asking someone in front of other people may unintentionally put them on the spot to disclose their identity to new people. You can ask anyone — cisgender or TNB — their name, pronouns, or honorifics.

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Once you know what terms a person uses, the best way to make sure that you use the correct ones is to practice (thiscan help). Practice when they are in the roomandwhen they are not in the room. Practice before you know you will see someone. Practice with others in your life: your cisgender friends, your spouse, your pet, your child. In our household, my wife and I try to use gender-neutral pronouns to refer to our preschooler’s toys and dolls so that we can practice using them ourselves. We even change the pronouns of characters in books that we read as another way to practice.

Another tip for remembering to use the correct name, pronouns, and honorifics is to pause before you speak. When we are stressed or busy, we are more likely to misgender people. Try to pause for a beat before you speak to make sure you are using the right terms to refer to someone. Similarly, reread emails before you send them to make sure you are not misgendering someone. headtopics.com

Be patient as you learn to use new terms and pronouns. It gets easier with practice and may become second nature over time.How to apologize for misgendering someoneMisgendering will happen. What’s most important is how you handle it when it does. The best way to handle misgendering someone who is present is to apologize and try harder next time ("I’m sorry, I meant [correct name/pronoun/honorific]"). Keep your apology

briefso that it doesn’t become about you and your mistake.If you are corrected by someone else, try not to be defensive. Instead, simply respond with a thank you and a correction ("Oh, thank you — I’ll email [correct name/pronoun] about that"). This is an important step, even if the misgendered person is not present, so you can practice and so others can learn from your example. Any time you misgender someone, practice so you can do better next time.

How to correct misgendering when you hear or see itAs a cisgender colleague and supervisor to numerous TNB people, many of whom are nonbinary and use they/them pronouns, I often find myself in situations where I need to correct misgendering. I might say something like "I noticed you used

sheto refer to that person. Just to let you know, they use they/them pronouns." Or I might write a note in a Zoom chat or in an email, "Just a friendly reminder that this person uses they/them pronouns." Stepping forward this way lessens the burden of correcting misgendering for TNB people. It also models to others that a correction can be done in a friendly way, and is important for respecting and including TNB people. headtopics.com

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How to use gender-neutral language and normalize pronounsOne way to avoid misgendering is to use gender neutral language. Here are some examples:Instead of "boys and girls" or "ladies and gentlemen," say "everyone."Instead of "fireman" or "policeman," say "firefighter" or "police officer."

Instead of "hey guys," say "hey everyone" or "hey all."Try to pay attention to your language andfind ways to switch to gender-neutral terms.You can be mindful of your own pronouns and help other people be mindful by normalizing displays of pronouns. Here are some ways that I make my own pronouns (she/her) visible to others:

I list my pronouns in my email signature, in my Zoom name, and on the title page of presentations.I wear a pronoun pin at work.I introduce myself with my pronouns.These actions signal to others that I am thinking about pronouns,  and am aware that people may use different pronouns than might be expected from their appearance.

You may still make mistakes, but it’s important to keep practicing and trying to use the right terms! By using the correct names, pronouns, and honorifics to refer to people, apologizing when you misgender someone, and correcting other people when they misgender, you can support and respect the TNB people around you. This helps create a more inclusive world for everyone. headtopics.com

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This honestly reads as bordering on outright plagiarised. I have read multiple identical articles. The exact same points, almost verbatim. How can such an esteemed outlet & such a credentialed author add so little (tbh, no) substance to such a significant discussion? Remarkable I do not misgender any female by using feminine pronouns, nor do I misgender any male by using male pronouns. Those who claim the mystical transgender, misgender themselves! Put the blame where it lies!

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