Mike Pence Struggling To Reckon With Vision Of Prophet Muhammad Revealing That VP Destined To Become Next President

📆 1/8/2021 5:30 PM
📰 TheOnion

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WASHINGTON—Deeply troubled by the communication received from a divine messenger, Mike Pence was reportedly struggling Friday to reckon with a recent vision of the Prophet Muhammad revealing that the vice president was destined to become the next president of the United States. “He told me that I was the chosen one and I’m the one true president, but also it was the wrong guy speaking on God’s behalf. I’m not a huge supporter of Islam, but on the other hand, I really liked what Muhammad was saying. Hmm, this is a toughie,” said the vice president, attempting to weigh his desire for political power against his strict commitment to Evangelical Christianity, which were seemingly unable to coexist in the vision of the future brought forth by the sacred prophet and founder of Islam. “Maybe it was just Jesus disguised as the prophet Muhammad and he was trying to test my faith. But then, does that mean it’s not my fate to be president? I guess I could convert to Islam for a few days just to claim my destiny and then convert right back to Christianity. I mean, Islam and Christianity are actually kind of similar when you think about it, right?” At press time, Pence had decided to split the difference between the two religions and converted to Judaism.

Write Comment

Nope!

NIEN! CRISTANATY IS ONY RELIGON!! BUDUDUDIAN IS NAT WREL

Mike's God goes to KKK meetings after church.

First there was Queen for a Day, now comes President for a week.

SaysSimonson

MikeWardca There are absolutely zero doubts in my mind that he won't last 4 years and that his VP will be pres. It's so obvious you'd have to be a fool not to see it. Good thing Americans are.. Shit never mind.

Mike Pence should propose a co-presidenciary system. Trump & Biden co-presidents to unite the nation, Pence and Kamala as the face of the change

In hell

Yes

bahahaha

AVisitedGeneration 성경에 약속된 부흥, 기적, 권능 모든것이 이뤄지고 있습니다. 메시아께서 오십니다. 그분의 백성을 데려가기 위해

Why wrestle. Deal with it if it comes up. Otherwise, why worry yourself over nothing.

well, there goes the onion. Nice reading your articles, sad it has to end already.

He really thinks he will be president. After this. Has the gall to think his career is anything but over.

Inshallah

“Maybe it was just Jesus disguised as the prophet Muhammad and he was trying to test my faith. But then, does that mean it’s not my fate to be president? I guess I could convert to Islam for a few days just to claim my destiny and then convert right back to Christianity.' 😂😂😂

Pence making his way to the Hajj pilgrimage

+ Have you been set apart for the Gospel of the MESSIAH? 메시아의 복음을 위해 당신은 구별되셨습니까? The Messiah is coming soon., 주님께서 곧 오십니다., AVisitedGeneration 회개와거룩함 메시아께서오십니다 +

Pence struggles not to call the vision in front of him ‘terrorist’ while simultaneous extending his hand to receive powers beyond his understanding.

'I’m not a huge supporter of Islam, but on the other hand, I really liked what Muhammad was saying. Hmm, this is a toughie”. 😂😂😂

That's just a fart from mother.

this is fucking gold

Masha Allah

Hey can you show the vision of Muhammad

Seems like a clear call for invoking the 25th Amendment, Mike

:))

What did that vision look like and why did you just commit apostasy?

Just for a week.

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