Michelle Zauner's Bittersweet Journey

When Michelle Zauner lost her mother in 2014, the only thing that got her through was food. The Korean American musician, who has won acclaim for the dreamy indie rock she records as allowed her to grieve for her mother, who’d cooked for her for years but had never taught her how. “There was no sense of urgency to learning that [before],” says Zauner, 32. “I never thought I was going to have so little time with my mom.”tells the story of their relationship through a lifetime of shared meals.

“It was a very traumatic time,” she says. “Being a caretaker for someone who’s dying was really, really hard at 25. I felt this need to tell people what that was like — and also to explain to myself. I didn’t really enjoy going to therapy, so I started writing more about it.” Zauner had studied creative writing when she was in college, but she’d never felt drawn to writing about her own life. “I wanted to be this kind of rough-and-tumble, white, dirty, realist man author,” she says of her undergrad dreams. “I wanted to write like Richard Ford and Raymond Carver, because that was what I loved to read.

That all changed when her mother passed away. “It suddenly became the only story that I did want to tell,” she says. After losing her mother in the fall of 2014, Zauner and her husband — whom she’d married in her parents’ backyard in those final weeks — moved to New York City, where she took an advertising job. “I was committed to making money in any basic way I could,” she says. “It’s like, ‘Oh, I’ve always been distracted by my art, and now that I’ve set that aside, I can just be a cold-hearted killer worker and climb the corporate ladder.

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