Man Who’s About To Cry Bursts Out Of Crowded Room Like He’s Transforming Into A Werewolf

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ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Rending his garments and dashing towards the door as his face began to twist in anguish, distraught man Andrew Wan, brought to the verge of tears by personal news of a deeply distressing nature, reportedly burst out of a crowded room Friday like he was transforming into a werewolf. “Oh, God, no! It’s happening again,” said Wan, groaning through moistening eyes and hiding his face in his white-knuckled hands as if to hide the bristling fur bursting forth from his skin and his skull elongating into a terrifying lupine form. “Get back! For the love of God, I beseech you, avert your eyes from my hideous aspect and leave me be!” A howling Wan was later sighted running into the woods, presumably in a desperate attempt to keep his dark secret hidden.

 

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Toxic masculinity is the new lycanthropy

This made me laugh in public. It was embarrassing.

Strangely, crowd around man who cries openly & without shame also wants to burst from room as if they are transforming into werewolves.

Just like StephenBosell

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