ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Rending his garments and dashing towards the door as his face began to twist in anguish, distraught man Andrew Wan, brought to the verge of tears by personal news of a deeply distressing nature, reportedly burst out of a crowded room Friday like he was transforming into a werewolf.
“Oh, God, no! It’s happening again,” said Wan, groaning through moistening eyes and hiding his face in his white-knuckled hands as if to hide the bristling fur bursting forth from his skin and his skull elongating into a terrifying lupine form. “Get back! For the love of God, I beseech you, avert your eyes from my hideous aspect and leave me be!” A howling Wan was later sighted running into the woods, presumably in a desperate attempt to keep his dark secret hidden.
cmstanton75 Just read a chunk of these replies, surprised the funny is sailing so far over so many heads until I went over to the Babylon Bee which is apparently the Scholastic News version of the Onion.
Lame writing
Can't he just cry under his mask, like a normal person? What's a crowded room?
I remember when they were funny
Hope you know it’s not a company.
Where is this crowded room you speak of?
The onion =comics Babylon bee=manga (it shows)
Lord have mercy
Try again ?
Someone please explain the joke to me!
Same.
funny....
I think its time to just close up shop guys, you had a good run, but this is terrible lol
When NotTheOnion becomes 10x funnier than Theonion, the world is lost
Stop Asian Hate! StopAsianHate
Where did you get this picture of me!?
Did you give up?
People are getting paid to write this?
the has gone southparked
onion has gone downhill
i feel so seen
Lame lol
What movie is this from?
Having been recently bitten by an overly emotional, adolescent, Filipino girl, these teary eruptions are likely to become more frequent. Heaven help the poor bastard. A soothing, silver Teddy Bear is his only hope.
I hope you know that this’s not a company.
diegol13elmessi
run sun
Don’t look at meeee!!
His hair was perfect
It’s been done, google GOP.
Look for the nearest stairwell!
Wahwolf
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Source: CNN - 🏆 4. / 95 Read more »
Source: HuffPostWomen - 🏆 27. / 68 Read more »
Source: NBCNews - 🏆 10. / 86 Read more »
Source: NBCNews - 🏆 10. / 86 Read more »
Source: NBCNews - 🏆 10. / 86 Read more »
Source: YahooNews - 🏆 380. / 59 Read more »