"The last thing I remember is getting a second tray of two-for-one mug-a-ritas with the guys from work," Taylor told reporters. "Next thing I know, I'm coming to on my couch, I'm nauseous, my head's pounding, and I'm fully vested in a Roth IRA that's completely deductible and contains a diverse spread of steady dividend-paying stocks with an impressive tax-to-growth ratio.
Assessing his situation, Taylor quickly discovered that his car and mobile phone were missing, and that his pockets were full of beer caps, crumpled napkins, and $465 in itemized drink receipts with an attached note from an accountant explaining the full amount could be written off as entertainment expenses.
A fatigued and dehydrated Taylor said he cheered up after a return call from police confirmed the location of his Lexus, which he had traded back to the dealer for a more economical and fuel-efficient Toyota. And while the 38-year-old admitted he was disappointed to discover he had vomited repeatedly in his kitchen sink, burning out the garbage disposal in the process, he added that the damage was covered by the renter's insurance he evidently took out Saturday morning.
I might start drinking if that could happen.
This was an awesome article, thanks!
I can sleep for over 10 years and you, americans, are still stupid as always. Listen: They’ve said I’ve never worked in my life. If it’s true, how can I owe someone? Do us a favor: don’t bother me! You’ve lost your gleam to me.
Drinking solves all financial problems 👍
If it hasn’t happened yet to you, be persistent 🥂
Suicide?
It helps to sleep on it sometimes.
U laugh but it’s true
I wish...
if only my benders could be even just 10% as productive
2011?
Considers Minor Addiction Problem To Tackle Relationship Issues
So you're saying there's a chance
kathrynw5 He found a way to print more money.
And a kidney missing.
sry Onion watching Minecon rn
Hahahaha 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👍🏿
He woke up to the good ending
chadandjt
A great read
Twin Peaks: The Return (2017)
My God it must be hard to be funny for you right now.
This is my favourite article in a long time
No good baby, it's a sleep paralysis. All financial problems are still there😕
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