Man Relaxing His Overwhelming Anxiety For Just A Moment Finally Gives Pack Of Coyotes The Opening They Need

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KANSAS CITY—Stopping to take stock of himself and actually enjoy the fresh air, area man Michael Perez relaxed his overwhelming sense of anxiety for just a moment Thursday, giving a pack of coyotes the opening they had long been waiting for. According to sources, Perez had gone on the hike to blow off steam and…

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KANSAS CITY—Stopping to take stock of himself and actually enjoy the fresh air, area man Michael Perez relaxed his overwhelming sense of anxiety for just a moment Thursday, giving a pack of coyotes the opening they had long been waiting for.

According to sources, Perez had gone on the hike to blow off steam and finally found the willpower to let go of his punishing angst for a peaceful moment, a change in demeanor which was immediately sensed by a pack of vicious, hungry coyotes that decided now was the time to strike.

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See, this is why high schoolers and college students would be the most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Like Coyotes need more hate 🙄

Coyotes told we taste like chicken. They find quickly it was a fib.

Coyotes don’t hunt in packs, they sometimes hunt in pairs. Should have gone with wolves or hyenas I think.

All these varmint sympathizers 🤣

I live by a park full of coyotes . They serenade us on many nights. They prefer chicken.

Turns out his anxiety was survival instinct.

To be fair, it's easy to miss an anvil hanging over your head.

I know you like a good joke, but the killing of ecologically-critical predators like Coyotes by humans is the issue, and they almost NEVER attack humans. And yes, someone had to share this because we care about coyotes and other keystone species. Science

Yup. Every time I find my peace backpacking, they come yipping through my campsite and head.

Wait until dark.

Alternate cold open to Coyote Ugly.

What This makes no sense.

That hit a little close to home. Guess I’ll hang on to my overwhelming, chronic, relentless anxiety a little while longer. Just in case.

He was delicious.

That's a good one! 🤣

Relaxing can be deadly...situation awareness... obviously to stressful to think about

🤣

ThereAre4Lightz

Coyote to his pal: 'Wait, these ones are bitter...'

d08890 As Alanis Morrisette would say . . .

❤️🥰

witchwaytarot

Wtf is fud anyway? Y'all have your own idiot language now?

jaketapper

Moral: keep your situational awareness at all times 😂🤣😂

'You've got to be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed. Then moving in silently, downwind and out of sight, you've got to strike when the moment is right without thinking..'

jaketapper Replace this with raccoons and we're in business.

'colleagues'

jaketapper

Big fan of The Onion but for city folk, just FYI the most a pack of coyotes will do is bark at you from a distance. I’m sure they could overtake a person alone in the woods but they don’t want to challenge large prey. Watch out for fisher cats, though! Those guys are nuts!

jaketapper Soup's on?

jaketapper This is giving Sorrowscopes vibes

🤣

jaketapper

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