Man Just Wants One Trip To Laundromat Where He Doesn’t Meet Perfect Woman

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 23 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 12%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

CHICAGO—Stating that he only wants to wash his clothes and be on his way, local man Eric Snyder told reporters Wednesday that for once he’d like to visit the laundromat without meeting an absolutely perfect woman. “I swear, it seems like every single time I head down to do a couple loads of wash, I end up choosing the…

CHICAGO—Stating that he only wants to wash his clothes and be on his way, local man Eric Snyder told reporters Wednesday that for once he’d like to visit the laundromat without meeting an absolutely perfect woman.

“I swear, it seems like every single time I head down to do a couple loads of wash, I end up choosing the same machine as an attractive, vivacious grad student who just happens to have a ton of similar interests,” said Snyder, lamenting that unfailingly before the first rinse cycle has begun, he’ll be involved in a flirtatious conversation with a stunning, engaging, and well-read 22-to-26-year-old who forgot her detergent at home.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

Met my longest term partner in the laundromat

Perfect Woman Only Visits Area Laundromat So Often In Hopes Of Encountering Perfect Man Washing Shirt And Levis In His Boxers

Area Woman Also Wants One Trip To Laundromat Where She Doesn't Meet Area Man

On that cycle

This is where I met my wife of 40 years.

Is that the scene where David Schwimmer meets his cousin at the laundromat & incest related hilarity ensues?

Always running into his step-mom? Hope she doesn't get stuck in the dryer....

Mclovin?

Want to meet a supermodel? Get sick, don't shower for 3 days, run to the 7-11 for toilet paper, grab a Playboy and step into line.

Area Woman Also Wants One Trip To Laundromat Where She Doesn't Meet Area Man

I guess I need to start going to the laundromat

The laundromat is like the DMV. Nobody is ever attractive there👎

Just one trip! Is that too much to ask?

Great job buddy

Been there

Tough duty....

Especially when I just started at this huge company a week ago and I'm now in senior management with a corner office for some reason.

'woman just wants one trip to laundromat where she meets McLovin'

Sometimes you just need to get some laundry done 😂

Yeah, I'm always running into my step sister too.

Try the laundromat in my neighborhood. He must live in Soho or Martha's vineyard. I got sweaty, cigarette smoking mature crowd. Lol

Been there, done that, got the Tshirt, never got her phone number though.

If she was perfect, she wouldn’t be at the laundromat. She’d have her butler take care of it.

This is not as rare as you would think it is

so sick of this happening

“It’s not fair! It should’ve been me!”

That's fair. Sometimes a guy would rather go to the laundromat and meet the perfect man. Who are we to judge?

I have the same problem. Wherever I go, I'm always running into my mom.

not possible

All I've ever met at the laundromat was a greasy oil field worker. His dog was nice though.

I know how he feels 😆

Coincidentally, Area Woman Would Very Much Like To Have One Trip To Area Laundromat Without Encountering Area Man

i've found that asking your friend to help is the best idea! plus, they usually know enough about you to make the marriage worthwhile

Where is this laundromat? AskingForAFriend

And then Flo shows up and we laugh and laugh because Flo says if we bundle our loads of clothes save $3.25

Mood, me, same.

He should have gone today between 2pm and 4pm. She wasn't there.

It funny because every woman that I see at the laundromat is ABSOLUTELY disgusting

Basement cat says

Wait a second! Perfect women go to laundromat?

'Help, sir ! I seem to be stuck headfirst in this front loading washer' Bow-chicka-bow-bow

staple rom com plot :)

It’s why I quit going to laundromats altogether

She's not perfect, her arms are bigger than his.

me, but it's with people i know

not enough McLovin to go around smh

Man, do I wish I had that problem!

It’s just too much stress. They wanna smell your clothes fresh out of the dryer,they wanna touch your unmentionables, fold your T shirts,match your socks and roll em in cute little balls and then ask you out for dinner at some fancy restaurant. geez.

It's a pain, I literally have to bring a flyswatter to keep the womens at bay, as they feast they're wanton eyes on my 6'4' frame and mumble 'aye, papi!' It's a difficult time, probably more painful than childbirth.

This happens all too often

At least that's one problem I've never had when I use to go to the laundromat.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

How One Gaysian Man Navigated Racism And Romance To Ultimately Say ‘Asian Guys Are Hot’“Hey, you’re cute — for an Asian.” The most striking part about anti-Asian racism is that it often doesn’t even register as racism.
Source: LAist - 🏆 606. / 51 Read more »

Cold case break: Milwaukee man murdered Gary man in 1991, FBI saysThe FBI says 50-year-old Milwaukee resident Quentin Maurice Smith fatally stabbed 35-year-old John Thomas Currie in 1991. Newsworthy in Chicago because...?
Source: fox32news - 🏆 547. / 51 Read more »

Louisville mayor punched by man in second attack on local DemocratsPolice, who have released surveillance images, are asking for the public’s help identifying the attacker. The mayor is a White Supremacist and got punished ...the violent arm of the Republican Party, aided and abetted by Fox News......AGAIN Stand back and stand by.
Source: washingtonpost - 🏆 95. / 72 Read more »

Deep Ellum shooting leaves 1 man injuredDallas police said a fight between two groups of people ended with gunfire in Deep Ellum. People still go there? 😂
Source: FOX4 - 🏆 289. / 63 Read more »

Drive-by shooting: Man shot in head, killed, another wounded in Roseland, Chicago police sayA drive by shooting in Roseland left a man shot and killed and another wounded on the Far South Side, the Chicago Police Department said. The daily murder is being perpetrated by black criminals with illegal guns quite a bit of them in black neighborhoods but not exclusively limited to black neighborhoods you see they kill people all over the city black criminals with illegal guns
Source: ABC7Chicago - 🏆 284. / 63 Read more »

Montgomery Man Charged with Capital Murder - Alabama NewsMontgomery police have charged a 19-year-old man with capital murder. alnews alcrime montgomeryal alabamanewsnetwork
Source: ALNewsNetwork - 🏆 583. / 51 Read more »