Man Can’t Look At Angel Flying Down From Heaven To Save Drowning Child And Not Feel Like There Must Be Some Higher Power Out There

📆 10/16/2019 12:07 PM
📰 TheOnion

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SAINT IGNACE, MI—As a divine chorus pealed forth in joy and triumph from the sky above the lake, contractor Charles Taylor admitted that he could never behold the sight of an angel flying down from Heaven to save a drowning little boy without experiencing the almost overwhelming feeling that there must be some sort of higher power at work in the universe. “I’m normally what you might call a skeptical man, but when I witness the sky open in a burst of healing white radiance in which I behold the countenance of an undeniably divine celestial being, I can’t help but wonder if there may be something bigger than all of us,” said Taylor, evidently lost in thought at the possibility of a great design at work in the universe as an unutterably beautiful angel descended upon wings of the purest light to lift a flailing, half-conscious child into its luminous embrace. “I don’t know…maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see in this ethereal winged creature. But there are moments in life; small, still moments of reflection, like a baby laughing, or a smile from a stranger, or maybe that angel clad in numinous glory over there, the one who just restored a child to life and delivered it from watery oblivion to solid ground. It’s enough to make me think that just maybe there’s something more than just this little life of ours.” Taylor reportedly left the scene before he could comment on the angel’s decision to smite over three dozen souls from the lake with a flaming sword for the sins of sodomy, usury, and failing to observe the Sabbath.

Write Comment

metaphors

Why that child?

Noticed in the past 2 or 3 days your headlines have really sucked. Like noticeably changed. Did you fire all your writers 2 days ago? Were u forced to hire the VP’s son? What up

It’s an angel-shaped drone.

Thoughts and prayers.

thank goodness for angels

You’ve been replaced by The Babylon Bee.🤣

Man sits on his ass while child drowns and day dreams about angels.

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