Vol 56 Issue 08

Vol 56 Issue 08

Man Annoyed He No Longer Even Able To Go To Wuhan To Eat Bats Without Mom Freaking Out

Man Annoyed He No Longer Even Able To Go To Wuhan To Eat Bats Without Mom Freaking Out

2/29/2020 2:36:00 AM

Man Annoyed He No Longer Even Able To Go To Wuhan To Eat Bats Without Mom Freaking Out

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Acknowledging his frustration about his overprotective parent, area man Mark Folta told reporters Friday that he couldn’t even go to Wuhan to eat bats anymore without his mom completely freaking out. “I’ve tried to explain to her that this is something I have done dozens upon dozens of times before without any issue, but she’s in a full-fledged panic because of something she saw on the news,” said Folta, confirming his aggravation that even something as simple as wandering through the wet markets of the central Chinese capital sampling horseshoe bats would lead his irrational mother to “blow a gasket.” “No matter how many times I explain that people eat hundreds of bats every day and are completely fine, or that I’m going to a completely different part of the city from where the virus originated, it doesn’t make a difference. It’s like, I understand that there are risks involved with feasting on uncooked bat served without any sort of health regulations, but you take a risk when you get out of bed every morning, you know? She just doesn’t seem to understand that I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions.” Folta added that his mom’s anxiety was so severe that he had not even told her about his upcoming cruise to Japan aboard the Diamond Princess.

Read more: The Onion »

shiuvaunn Can i still make bat jambalaya? asking for a friend... whyfund Let him do it, the freaking idiot‼️💙🌊 😂 “JEEZIS MOM, IT’S FINE!” He must be one of those YouTubers that eat wierd stuff Wu-Tang Clan tribute band; Wuhan Van have seen a steep drop in ticket sales since Coronavid19 And they’ve stopped all flights to Huawei, the bastards.

You have to wash your hands first. damn chinese got to ruin it for everyone. Say what? Wack kid Eat bats? Is that a delicacy in your dimension. If so, how do you cook one, and does it taste good? . 'PBS is new spokesperson for novel coronavirus' 'The scientific inventors or discoverers initially called it halovirus, but thought people might not be confused' Fred Fraud Freud - Sigmund's future-cestor

eh, this aint it PKluever soup? Weak. Regroup Onion writers. Rachaelwashere_ No more Corona beer either, these are just plain facts people. Moms huh Same

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