Vol 56 Issue 22, Donald Trump, Eric Trump, Protest

Vol 56 Issue 22, Donald Trump

‘Let Them Have Eric,’ Screams Trump While Pushing Son Through Door Of Bunker

‘Let Them Have Eric,’ Screams Trump While Pushing Son Through Door Of Bunker

6/1/2020 11:09:00 PM

‘Let Them Have Eric,’ Screams Trump While Pushing Son Through Door Of Bunker

WASHINGTON—In an effort to placate the protesters gathered outside, President Donald Trump reportedly screamed, “Let them have Eric!” Monday as he pushed his son through the door of a White House bunker. “Please, you can take Eric, just leave me alone,” said the commander in chief, shoving his third-born son through the bulletproof, double-reinforced door of the White House panic room, repeatedly smashing Eric Trump ’s fingers with a large wrench to loosen their grip on the frame. “Tear him apart, do whatever you want with him. I’m sorry, son, but this sacrifice is for the greater good!” After learning that the protesters remained a quarter mile away and were completely separated from the structure by hundreds of Secret Service agents, Trump then threw out Don Jr. as well.

Read more: The Onion »

williamlegate You Democrats & liberals need to listen to this. You Patriots need to retweet this and make it go viral. williamlegate Who's Eric? Oh the really really dumb one.... girlpathologist 🤨👩‍🦰🦶👈🌜🏺🌛 Noone46764152 Just actually aspirated a good snootful of wine. May recover. Eric was infact pulling the steinfs the entire time.

Heeeeeeeyyyyy... dont be that mean LMAOOOOOO FArkantart Isn't the Onion supposed to be satire though? LesBowen FAKE NEWS That's legit. Sorry, couldn't find email string with everyone's address Don't you just love him? Can't get enough of him. Not.. I just really shouldn’t laugh right now - what’s that song take me to the church where the girl laughs at funerals

Pfft. Lot offered the angry mob *two* virgin daughters, and Trump opens the negotiation by offering *Eric?* I would think he would do this to Tiffany, but realized she would of not been invited to the bunker in the 1st place. sounds like some thing he would do. LesBowen not sure the onion is a reliable source of the truth, les

🙄 DreadfulPenguin Women and children first after all. BigBoyler did the protesters protest at trump tower? oceanclub Yeah, right. Like he'd have let Eric in in the first place... is a national treasure. 😊 'Third-born son'? Thought that was the charming Barron. BradleyWhitford 😂😂 We are living through satire, I'm afraid my dear might become irrelevant

peado Biblical Donnie talks tough, then retreats to his bunker (sound up) TLCexpat BradleyWhitford I love The Onion. what do you expect from a 4 time Draft Dodger davidmackau My stomach hurts from laughing!!!!! RobDigweed Only in AmERICa😁 TheWiseScalpel trend trendnow ThePresidentWhoHid GregYuppie Dude

Popehat trevornoah Can’t stop laughing at this. Thank you. Popehat I see Trump more like Lot from the Old Testament, who when the mob came for him, turned his own daughters over to them for sexual relations to save his own butt. Look out Ivanka and Tiffany! Can we please get some coverage on Jeff upgrading riot supplies automatically to 'Prime' next day shipping?

Popehat Reminiscent of TheWiseScalpel ScottGreenfield I won’t believe it til The Babylon Bee reports it. BradleyWhitford 🤣🤣🤣 If you know Trump, it’s actually Don he’d get rid of I can't remember the last time I laughed, not even a chuckle. This did it tho. The Onion will ALWAYS be the number one news source lmao

tjmoser55 😂😂😂 mcfarfaraway billtexf I would take the First Lady KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK The_Zero_Zero Old enough to remember when the Onion was satire. Now they’re just pushing real stories. I think The Onion started reporting real news at some point I thought these were fake. On today's episode of, I'd believe it if i didn't know the onion was satiare.

Noooo !! Trumplivesmatter Okay, I've been kinda over political humor for about 12 years now, but I got a genuine laugh out of this. You guys have been on fire throughout all this keep it up I do not understand why Eric, the largest child, simply does not consume the other siblings as a sign of dominance

BUNKER BITCH 'He's my precious little decoy!!!' LOL. This is going to be one for the ages. ok, they still got it I'd say it should have been Tiffany but the deeper joke is that she wouldn't have been in the bunker LisaMaria0926 Nobody wants Eric

White House says no Trump public appearances Sunday, ending speculation he’d give television addressThe White House announced a so-called phot lid for Sunday, ending speculation President Donald Trump may speak to the national about the unrest over the... Fake leader His promise to designate Antifa as a terrorist organization did the trick. Thank you, realDonaldTrump Good! The best trump speech is no speech at all!

Trump took shelter in White House bunker as protests ragedThe Secret Service rushed President Trump into a White House bunker Friday night as protesters gathered outside, some throwing rocks and rattling barricades. A Republican close to the White House confirmed the incident, speaking on condition of anonymity. How many diapers did he used that night? SethAbramson Keep him there & kick him out Jan 2121! It was just his bone spurs acting up.

Trump taken to underground bunker as protests grew outside White House: ReportsTrump was briefly moved to an underground bunker Friday night briefly as the protest grew outside the Executive Mansion, according to multiple outlets. Leave him there somebody is scared

While Trump shelters in the White House, America cries out for leadershipUnder siege in the White House, President Donald Trump is aggravating America's latest racial anguish in a nation now simultaneously beset by violence-wracked cities, a deadly disease and staggering economic deprivation | Analysis by StCollinson StCollinson Screen shot these “clippings”. our children will want to look back on our Flickr accounts and believe it was all true. StCollinson StCollinson Looking at the comments from the trumpsters safe to say the US is finished

During Ferguson Protests, Trump Blamed The Guy In The White HouseThis time, not so much. How did Mubarak go after riots and protests!! Oh yes, the MILITARY Use your power to VoteHimOut

Trump Briefly Taken to White House Underground Bunker amid George Floyd Protest in D.C. on FridayThe decision was made after protestors gathered outside of the White House, with some throwing bricks and debris at the gates, the New York Times reported Using the word ‘briefly’ doesn’t make this any less cowardly He should’ve been left there He's going to sell bunkers now. Big beautiful bunkers.