Kinja

Common Lies Parents Tell Their Children All The Time

9/16/2021 6:15:00 PM

Common Lies Parents Tell Their Children All The Time

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

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What? The shit stained doily is not the shroud of Turin? He really is your father. We love you Everything is going to be alright. “Masturbation will give you hairy palms” i love you unconditionally 'I'm just going out for a pack of cigarettes' You can be anything you want in life. “You’re not the reason for our divorce”

Angel gives couples a baby after they marry. “You were planned”

KinjaThe Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. Why bring it back if you're not gonna try its meat? So they can go extinct for a second time. 👍 Lots of American Dentists must be drooling over the prospect of killing something entirely new and defenseless.

'We don't have a favorite, child number two.' 'Your mother and I love each other very much' 😐

KinjaThe Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. Why bring it back if you're not gonna try its meat? So they can go extinct for a second time. 👍 Lots of American Dentists must be drooling over the prospect of killing something entirely new and defenseless.