Kate Beckinsale's Reverse-Crank Action-Comedy Jolt Short Circuits

Lindy has some kind of vigilante disease. From an early age, when she witnesses wrongdoing, her body chemistry gets so indignant that she all but Hulks out on the perpetrators. Instead of turning big and green, her pupils constrict. The end result is the same: Violence and destruction, levied against the impolite rather than the supervillainous. It’s like if Larry David got exposed to gamma rays, but not funny. At least, not intentionally so.

Director Tanya Wexler’s first foray into action isn’t really that interested in fights, chases, murders or the like. She seems more comfortable with the grating comedy saturating Scott Wascha’s first produced script.

Eventually it all works out, restoring her faith in humanity and throwing her a much-needed bone. Apingagain with its pink-and-blue lighting—ironically deployed here with intense heterosexuality on a nude Courtney’s muscled back and butt as Justin proves himself a generous lover—’s sex scene is its most effective. It’s sultry, female gazey and positions its actors evocatively throughout its quick montage. And then Justin goes the way of John Wick’s dog.

Add in a couple bumbling buddy cops and a twist that’d be easier to ignore if it was wreaking high-voltage havoc on your frontal lobe, and you have a depressing movie that’s flaccid attempts at uniqueness only serve to remind you of just how generic it is. That goes for its major theme, too. This movie has balls on the mind: Lindy kicks a lot of dudes in the nuts, momentarily graduating to electrocuting them with a car battery, and has a vocal appreciation for Justin’s.

Half-assed, Black Widow-like spinning neck takedowns, cheap sets and Beckinsale’s disaffected, thrownaway deadpanning flicker while you’re watching it and then fade completely as soon as the credits roll. When Susan Sarandon shows up in the final minutes like a particularly uninterested Nick Fury, it’s all the more sad and laughable that this film thought it was going to be a franchise-starter.

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