ARLINGTON, TX—Jumping at an opportunity that he has reportedly been waiting on for years, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones announced Tuesday that he would change the team’s name to Redskins now that it is available.
“Washington has been squatting on that moniker for so long, but I always secretly felt like it was the perfect name for my team,” said Jones, who revealed he filed the paperwork with the league to change the name within hours of Washington dropping it, and has attempted to trademark the name “Redskins” for the next 50 years. “This name really gets at the heart of what we stand for as a franchise. This is America’s team, and Cowboys is just so generic.
End of article is prescient “I’m just pissed we couldn’t get the rights to Chief Wahoo, too.”
Dallas Sunburns
I’ve never seen Jerry Jones and Daniel M. Snyder in the same room.
Love the smile!
Not funny! Jerry Jones changes team name to Whiteskins, now that Redskins are frowned upon.
As in redskin potatoes? Can’t wait to see what the mascot looks like. Mr Potato Head?
haha... I'm a cowboys fan. this is funny 😂
More likely: Johnny Walker Blue
😂
Bah potato skins and nut balls
Name doesn’t change terrible team with horrible ego driven management. Ultimate outcome: sign Dak to huge contract (middle of the road QB) and he breaks the other leg. Perfect.
How about the democrats? If they lose the Super Bowl they can spend the next season whining that the winner cheated. When that fails, they will just control the scoreboard.
He originally wanted to name them the dallas Washington football team but was taken
The biggest red planet out there is out open in the public with UK royals, realDonaldTrump also hasn't stopped pumping out red for months now, you're all just fuzzing about it because a black hole came around a red planet. SHUT THE FCK UP they're nothing impressive
How about Bolsheviks?
Jerry is such a playful fella.
I liked him better when he was just a simple, meat and potatoes Monty Python member.
Jesus
he kepps looking more and more like palpatine
Oh wow, that is so sensitive of you.
Mr. Jones. Got a 1 time deal/ chance for u. It's so simple. Mo money mo money
marclamonthill is this true?
LJ4477 If true good good for Jerry Jones
marclamonthill if we could actually stop using that term all together, that'd be great
Oh well
redsteeze 😆😆😆
redsteeze Cowboys killed an awful lot of Indians. Maybe their time has come too.
redsteeze demskins cburnaman chrisadams5 MikeMelancon
MikeMason830 Because, he's stupid like that...😑
HogsHaven 😂
I'm a fan of the Cowboys not the redskins... So if there is a name change I'm NOT on board as a fan, I'd rather keep it the Cowboys because it has meaning!!!
ebcinpa Hail to chief Jerruh
chrisguardino Lmfaooooo
Sources say? OddCoupleFSR Chris_Broussard RobParkerFS1 alex_teichert TheProducerRG
AwesemoDFS ScooterMagruder do you want to talk about it?
HogsHaven Not sure this will happen . . . but it's fun to contemplate it.
cujoknows He'd be better off looking for some human skin to hide that whole alien lizard tell.
cujoknows Ok it would never happen but the look on Snyders face if it did would be HILARIOUS!!
Jerry you tricky bastard . . .
drewmagary Is it a slur or not? And if it is, maybe we don’t flog it for laughs?
Don’t give him ideas
TweetlessBenz
RKarHol
anthonyjeselnik you writing for the onion during quarantine?
nettibear56
AlonPinkas 😂😂
😂😂😂
Dwight Howard gets a certain surprise and Kelly oubre approves
TVGrimReaper Did he ask Lady A first? They might decide they want it someday and sue.
corbydavidson BREAKING
😂😂
marclamonthill 🤣🤣😂🤣 NottiLibertine
Somebody tell Jones there were black cowboys; he'll change the name tomorrow....
I could see that.
Central_Track 'Cowboys vs Redskins' let's get this right.
Murph_Andy Never change, Onion.......
One of your best in awhile😎
Dallas Redboys or Cowskins!
The Babylon Bee is funnier than you. I suspect you are worried about being cancelled.
Jerry Jones probably reading The Onion, saying “how did they know?”
onicle43
Lmao that would be awesome
ImAdamHawk Jerra had better things to do than sign Dax
Layers of Shade here.
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP POSTING A RACIAL SLUR FULLY SPELLED OUT?!?!? YOU WOULDN'T KEEP POSTING THE N WORD WITHOUT GETTING DRAGGED FOR FILTH. DONT DO IT TO THIS GROUP EITHER.
Cowboys killed Indians. The name’s gotta go.
chickmcgee1 haha
Nah, very fine people told an acquaintance by morse code that JJ was changing the Cowboys to Johnny Walker Blue Label.
Washington Worriers, Fedskins
Finally the Redskins will be winners once more
Now they can play with themselves on Thanksgiving.
Here's a safe bet... Washington's Pale Skins... Go pales
sorry for the bad news adamrbloom lol
😂 😆
Jones flirted with the idea of going with the “Dallas LBJs” but opted for the less offensive, less blatantly racist “Redskins” instead.
Jerry Jones is garbage, I know this is a joke, but I wouldn't put it pass him though.
Would they still get to play on thanksgiving?
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