Jeff Bezos Is Finally Leaving Earth

Good. Space can keep him

6/9/2021 9:23:00 AM

Good. Space can keep him

Next month, the billionaire will take his first trip to space. Hurrah!

In an Instagram post on Monday, the man formerly known as Mr. Amazon announced that he will be onboard the first human spaceflight conducted by his rocket company Blue Origin. “Ever since I was five years old, I’ve dreamed of traveling to space,” he said on Instagram. He also shared that his brother, Mark Bezos, will be joining him for the ride, calling the trip “the greatest adventure, with my best friend.”

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If you would like to join this very rich man and his brother on their little space trip, you can! Provided you have more than $2.8 million. One of the six available seats for the July 20 spaceflight is being auctioned off, and anyone (with millions of dollars) can buy it. The current high bid is $2.8 million, with nearly 6,000 people from 143 countries having already participated in the auction, per the New York Times. Proceeds from the winning bid will be donated to Club for the Future, Blue Origin’s foundation encouraging kids to pursue careers in STEM. The auction ends June 12, so better place your bid quickly. If it helps, the spacecraft has undergone 15 test flights, none of which have had passengers aboard, according to the Times.

Next month’s flight will be a short one, totaling just 11 minutes. The passenger-carrying capsule will separate from its booster at about 47 miles, at which point passengers will get to unbuckle and experience about three minutes of weightlessness before returning to Earth. Okay, maybe I would pay money to watch Bezos try to do some zero-gravity somersaults.

“To see the Earth from space, it changes you,” Bezos said in his video announcement. “It changes your relationship with this planet, with humanity. It’s one Earth. I want to go on this flight because it’s the thing I’ve wanted to do all my life. It’s an adventure. It’s a big deal for me.” Very cool, Jeff! Love to hear thoughts on humanity from the man whose yacht has its own yacht.

The July 20 spaceflight will make Bezos the first of the billionaire boys with space projects to travel aboard his own rocket. I’m sure this will give SpaceX’s Elon Musk and Virgin Galactic’s Richard Branson ideas, meaning a celestial pissing contest is imminent.

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Jeff Bezos to launch himself into space for first time next monthJUST IN: Amazon founder Jeff Bezos will fly to space next month on first crewed flight of a rocket made by his company, Blue Origin. Hope and prayers. Another example at how close humans are from our previous species.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos announces he will fly into space next monthJUST IN: Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, has announced that he and his brother Mark Bezos will be joining an auction winner on New Shepard's first human flight into space next month. And anyone should care because . . .? cool, hopefully blue origin fucks up Bezos crack corn and I don't care.

Jeff Bezos to launch himself into space next month'On July 20th, I will take that journey with my brother. The greatest adventure, with my best friend,' Bezos announced on Instagram. Have they even achieved orbit? Essa porra vai dar merda ein I think we’ve all seen this movie and know it doesn’t end well for the CEO.

Jeff Bezos to Travel to Space Next Month After Stepping Down as Amazon CEOThe flight will be launched by Blue Origin, the sub-orbital space travel and aerospace company owned by Jeff Bezos, and the launch will be the first for New Shepard, Blue Origin’s crewed space capsule Billionaires flying into space is as cringe worthy as celebrities talking about going into politics. 🤮 Wow the size of his narcissistic ego! There should be a rule: If you leave Earth, you have to ask to be let back in. No in-and-out privileges. We're pretty much at capacity.

Jeff Bezos to travel on first Blue Origin human space flightJeff Bezos will be aboard for Blue Origin’s first human space flight next month. July 20 is the anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. The trip will be a brief hop to space from Texas. nice Bozo, the suborbital clown? That’s cute

Jeff Bezos Will Fly To Space On Blue Origin’s First Crewed FlightThe first crewed flight of Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket ship will take place just 15 days after Bezos exits as Amazon’s CEO. Please stay there and don't return