JACKSONVILLE, FL—Scoring a victory for NFL preservationists worried that these rare creatures could disappear forever, local Jacksonville couple Michael Larson, 30, and Brittany Gill, 28, successfully mated Tuesday in an attempt to help save the endangered Jaguars fan
base. “This population has dwindled down to practically nothing over the last decade, so any news of potential new Jaguars fan being born is wonderful,” said local Jaguars activist Brian Hodge, who claimed that without additional breeding programs and support from the local government, the next generation may never see these beautiful fans in their black, teal, and gold coats. “Jaguars fans occupy a very small habitat along the Atlantic coastmany young Jacksonville fans will die in boating or hunting accidents before reaching sexual maturity, but once they breed they can produce a dozen offspring, and most of those will go on to become adult Jaguars fans. So we still have hope this population will endure.
the survival of the young Jaguars fan was in question after the mother lost her job at Hobby Lobby and started talking about moving to Houston.
tokenizedtweets 0xbC7B03bE761743D7173513EceCBd09Afd0D9a6d4
They saved the jaguar, when the two got mated? That's pretty rough.
DAMN that's cold!
End up having a nonbinary kid that isn't into football
Meanwhile i’ll just sit on my rising home value while most of New York moves to my street. nocatee GOJAGS
Lmao BrianBartley90
BengermanPlays
Citizens of Jacksonville should not be allowed to reproduce
HelloGreedo GOTCHA!
Show me a video or I’m not believing it
All aboard!
xTRIPLExOGx
Gotta keep it alive I guess 🤷♂️
LeslieDOwens 💀
The Trevor Lawrence hype train will help the species with a brief respite this fall.
ericvdunn
therealjjanze
🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's BORTELIN TIME!
😂 😂 😂 😂
CoachChip30 Stone cold
Davisrparks
UncleChaps
mastur_nate
(Having just re-watched The Good Place again)
Yet the Jaguars fan base is 1000x the size of the amount of people that read the onion
uncle_baseball
hawkblogger 'BORTLES!'
JKillJagSwag904
RT : Jacksonville Couple Successfully Mates To Help Save Endangered Jaguars Fan Base Raising your child to be a Jaguars fan is a form of child abuse.
DUUUVAL
Ross_Lennon
😂
fyi Chrisbcox ;)
And they named him “Jason” . . .
DUUUUUVVVAAAAALLLLLLLLL
Meanwhile in Detroit the 30 year sterilization efforts appears to haven been given a considerable boost.
javierka86 jajajajajaja
DeAugieDogie CoachBouzas 😂😂😂
TheJeffReport
Well now they just need Dolphins, Steelers, bears, lions, cardinals, colts, raiders, Bucs, Bengals and chargers to all mate to out attend the Jags in avg home game attendance the last few years
That's just what the world needs right now, people from Jacksonville mating...
charlescwcooke
Wtf? Lol
TeddyFoster50
On one hand it’s nice to see this endangered fan base grow in numbers again, but the idea of two people from Jacksonville mating makes me afraid for the world
Ok, at least they got a winner in AEW .
WillWestWNML Cub grows up, identifies as genus, cheers for Panthers
18MgBrts74
I hope they give birth to a franchise quarterback!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
What about Jets fans?
XUCryptKeeper 😂
🤣🤣🤣
dajuiceman19
Yet still somehow manage to birth a Carolina Hurricane’s fan.
Almost certain they live in Murray Hill or some shit
This is Gabe_James
TonyKhan
BigJohnson177
davpresto SWhyno
d1s1ntegrat1on
And they named their offspring Urban.
Devolution in action
Got to also include Lions fans
TronCarterNLU BigRandyNLU
BORTLES
So, uh, no union contract, huh?
Jason Mendoza did more than anyone ever could
I am NOT clicking that link
😇
ShannonOgden1 😂😂😂
if boss didn't have the shotty i would be using it right now
Baby's first word was 'DUUUVAAALL'
That's Child Abuse
Not_A_GM
First round pick in 2040 draft
HelloGreedo , thought you’d get a laugh over this. Not throwing any shade... my Bears are perpetually mediocre or trash.
Former resident - can confirm
I didn't even know that was a team
wha1en
Jacksonville fan from Canada. When I say fan I mean I like the logo. Looks good on a hat.
Guilty.
wasryanthere
UncleChaps Assault.
omar_rumman
MattSpratley
ericvdunn
I am once again personally attacked by an Onion tweet and will be consulting my lawyer posthaste.
ZConstant
“At press time, the survival of the young Jaguars fan was in question after the mother lost her job at Hobby Lobby” Legit
OscarNunezLA nbcthegoodplace you had something to do with this I bet
afcabreza :(
Just imagine the drama that's going to ensue when they find a Tampa Bay jersey under their kid's bed one day?
The kid will be a bucs fan.
i feel attacked
I’d rather see real Jaguars 🐆 eat all the remaining Jaguars fans.
Conservation is so important
OscarNunezLA In 2020, the Chargers opened the brand new, five billion dollar, state of the art facility they share with the Rams to zero Chargers fans in attendance. So, basically, nothing changed.
J_SHOWalter7 aren’t you a Jags fan?
5kl Is that Jason and Janet?
OscarNunezLA
Wilde_River
These people are too pretty to be from Jacksonville. Then again, I can't see their teeth
OscarNunezLA
OscarNunezLA Woah woah woah... you take it easy over here. 😆
Jags fan here. Baby coming in April. I’m doing my part!
blakerss
BoRTLeS!
UncleChaps
You mean nbcthegoodplace didn’t grow the fan base?!
JLeeRichter
Taking one for the team, literally
Brady should cast his seed the same way he tosses picks
Offspring identifies as Dolphins fan
LMFAO💀
Booortals!
Meanwhile, Bengals fans have given up. We are ready for extinction.
PeterSchorschFL just vicious
where's Jake Jortles when you need him?
don't mind me! i am just the mail snail delivering some mail to JohnBishop100!
The zoo hopes they will be more successful than the giant pandas but prospects remain guarded
Where's the baby tho? We need receipts!
Banger tweet king
MannyJacinto Go Jaguars! TheGoodPlace
Could be worse, could have been Browns fans... 4 bagger, 2 each.
This is a good one.
gurtronica
I would hate to be that child
Brendan_Tobin
UncleChaps thoughts?
tayveejones
HelloGreedo face reveal
Oh good. I heard they were having trouble for awhile until they got a new delivery man
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