‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut

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LONDON—Calling the procedure “a fast, er, effective way” to treat symptoms of the Covid-19 virus, doctors at St. Thomas’ Hospital reportedly told British prime minister Boris Johnson that the haircut he’d received on Friday “was for, uh, medical reasons.” “Well, you see Prime Minister, because of your severe respiratory issues, we, um, actually needed to access that part of your head for a...surgery thing, yes,” said senior clinician Dr. Randal Jensen, taking long, awkward pauses as he looked between his medical charts and Johnson’s new head of short, well-coiffed hair. “Simply put, if we had kept your hairstyle the way it was, you could have risked death or something else, probably. We believe this is because the uh...keratin in your hair is related to your lungs, but don’t worry too much about that right now. We actually do it to all our patients. Right, yes, we definitely do that.” At press time, the prime minister had reportedly informed his medical team that after his emergency lifesaving haircut, he’d never felt better.

 

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paulwiggins Samson feels

bodoramelow

Makes him look like MarkMeadows 😂😂😂😂

Dang !! That was a significant part of Boris’ Schtick ... all that he had was his goofy hair ... his patter was mostly jokes about genocide and outright obvious lies ...

Boris doesnt have half the balls Trump has. He won a major victory with his party in the last election and makes politics like they almost lost.

kirikkitikki WHAT, a haircut? He seems to have a lot of hair left - - a lousy cut!

robdelaney Looks too much like and old version of Cartman

Beakmoo It was for the health of the viewing public.

GreatDismal Not church hill Smirk Nil

brx0 I didn't think he could look any duller.

Was his face always that small?

HoarseWisperer And Boris weathered a'Close Shave'too.

therealnatepolk Hysterical 😭

john_sipher Dr. Delilah ✂️

Looks like Sean Spicer's even dimmer brother

john_sipher

And for psychological reasons for the rest of the nation..

The old hair distracted you from how close his eyes are

I wonder if it was similar to the famous springsteen story from the Live box set, where his father had a barber come in while he was sedated? They're going to make a man out of you Boris.

Unrecognizable

kazlovesyou 😂

The doctors also dyed it too. Amazing.

Almost looks statesmanlike. Almost.

DevinCow LOL

GenevieveCogman Why does that haircut with that face with those political beliefs and ambitions make it look like the next phrase out of his lips is going to be, 'England will prevail'?

care_myers That is funny!

Big if true!

Sean Spicer and Angela Merkels love child

cc AhmedGoldstein

Boris Koemam. His brother Ronald took a mean free kick

NYmaryann I didn't recognize him at all...!

he looks 100x worse

Brava! Bravo!

Looks like Sean Spicers fat twin

GreatDismal tRUmp needed fresh hairplugs. The ones he got from his mother rejected him.

Lmao that’d be clutch tho

Thank you. You bring us smiles and joy. And sometimes rib pains.

Stand thee back, Delilah!

charlottealexab 💇🏼‍♂️

誰⁉︎

GreatDismal 10/10 WOULD VOTE

ThePessimist12 ☝🏾😂 💀 Like read the actual blogpost

Carlsonsports You'd think they'd have given him a cracking set of tits as a payback for voting down their payrises

robdelaney tayz0485 1% skinner

Carlsonsports Moustache small black

DevinCow He looks weird. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Popehat Mother Nature's a Bitch!

He‘s regretting Brexit.

Looks more like a politician and less of a distracting mascot. Still the party leader of a party hat has made so many cuts to the nhs and other public services.

Simple swab tests is all this country needs as no one knows if they've got it no tests.NHs worker wont give me test.A ventilator costs thousands simple swab or blood tests cost a few pence .No wonder covoid is spreading no one knows if they have it or not Finance for testing now.

Glad Boris is better good for him! Now wheres the covoid tests no wonder figures rising no one knows if they've got it or not no absolutely no tests foor those suffering symptons.Bad figures will continue to rise take Chinas example on testing, supermarket None is offered.

Popehat Oh thank god is back. You all gave up on making fun of US politics, to go after the brits. Don’t blame you, it’s hard to come up with the next craziest thing that doesn’t get him booted before he does exactly that. Over and over and over and over and over and over and o

DevinCow Why does he look like a South Park character with his hair cut?

DevinCow Now he looks like mad Sean Spicer....

Popehat Is this Tom Steyer’s hair in him?

That's the, I have to poop face, but I'm going to pretend I'm just grumpy, face.

He looks serious now.

Popehat fuck me it's Mark Meadows

DevinCow Well he just lost Trumps kind words at the next small penis rally 🤣

DevinCow 🤣🤣🤣🤣

DevinCow Oops bad timing, dude is in the ICU.

DevinCow He look sad and boring as he probably is

DevinCow Whatever works I say.

DevinCow 😂😂😂

HoarseWisperer What

It's wild how much different he looks with normal hair.

HoarseWisperer OMG he looks almost normal

Popehat I honest to God didn't recognize him.

Popehat And a hairbrush!

He doesn’t look like one of Harry Potter’s professors anymore... pity

Popehat Now I know why he does his hair that way!

Popehat He looks a bit like Sean Spicer.

Ok. That was a good laugh. Well done

Body Double.

It looks like the after pic of a stray dog.

The title of this article should have been “the mysterious man with a 5head”.

He doesnt seem so happy with the haircut and combing

He looks really pissed

Idiot! Trump's twin, both horrible leaders, need to step aside, it vote out, for the sanity if the world, they should go.

🤣👍

hahahaah

That's somehow worse

maya_pillai

It looks like JFK and Donald Trump both went into the teleporter from The Fly at the same time.

They need to teach BorisJohnson to comb his hair too!

Thanks Doc, we appreciate it even if he doesn’t.

They fixed his brain

Anyone else think he looks like The Great Intelligence from Doctor Who?

It's a big improvement but would he still remain a member of the Stupid Hair Club with Trump, Kim Jong Un and Michaelia Cash?

dcb97 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

cc EmilyStDenny

This is funny!

scottfeschuk Brilliant!

GDubs897 This made me lol

To distinguish him from Trump

Oh that's just not right.

He's turned into Ted Heath

Does that include a face lift too?

Can we clip 'The Donald' next. I really want to see that.

Lord He looks like a eyebrow-less Sean Spicer

Trump next

Naw. They just wanted to...

oh no he has that tiny face disease charlie-kirkism I think they call it

he totally looks like boris johnson tho

He looks like Sean Spicer

haircut or hair comb?

HE LOOKS A MILLION TIMES BETTER. I bet the queen didnt like his hair, it did look pretty ridiculous and unprofessional.

Might it have been possible to do a Face/Off style operation as well?

You know what though, that's not a bad job.

Ha! “I’m sorry, sir. It’s the combover virus”

Should have shaved it all the way.

'Im not a clone!!'

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