Vol 56 Issue 14, Coronavirus, Boris Johnson, Politics

Vol 56 Issue 14, Coronavirus

‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut

‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut

4/10/2020 12:58:00 AM

‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson , Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut

LONDON—Calling the procedure “a fast, er, effective way” to treat symptoms of the Covid-19 virus, doctors at St. Thomas’ Hospital reportedly told British prime minister Boris Johnson that the haircut he’d received on Friday “was for, uh, medical reasons.” “Well, you see Prime Minister, because of your severe respiratory issues, we, um, actually needed to access that part of your head for a...surgery thing, yes,” said senior clinician Dr. Randal Jensen, taking long, awkward pauses as he looked between his medical charts and Johnson’s new head of short, well-coiffed hair. “Simply put, if we had kept your hairstyle the way it was, you could have risked death or something else, probably. We believe this is because the uh...keratin in your hair is related to your lungs, but don’t worry too much about that right now. We actually do it to all our patients. Right, yes, we definitely do that.” At press time, the prime minister had reportedly informed his medical team that after his emergency lifesaving haircut, he’d never felt better.

Read more: The Onion »

kirikkitikki WHAT, a haircut? He seems to have a lot of hair left - - a lousy cut! robdelaney Looks too much like and old version of Cartman Beakmoo It was for the health of the viewing public. GreatDismal Not church hill Smirk Nil brx0 I didn't think he could look any duller. Was his face always that small?

HoarseWisperer And Boris weathered a'Close Shave'too. therealnatepolk Hysterical 😭 john_sipher Dr. Delilah ✂️ Looks like Sean Spicer's even dimmer brother john_sipher And for psychological reasons for the rest of the nation.. The old hair distracted you from how close his eyes are I wonder if it was similar to the famous springsteen story from the Live box set, where his father had a barber come in while he was sedated? They're going to make a man out of you Boris.

Unrecognizable The doctors also dyed it too. Amazing. kazlovesyou 😂 Almost looks statesmanlike. Almost. DevinCow LOL GenevieveCogman Why does that haircut with that face with those political beliefs and ambitions make it look like the next phrase out of his lips is going to be, 'England will prevail'?

care_myers That is funny! Big if true! cc AhmedGoldstein Sean Spicer and Angela Merkels love child Boris Koemam. His brother Ronald took a mean free kick NYmaryann I didn't recognize him at all...! he looks 100x worse Looks like Sean Spicers fat twin Brava! Bravo! GreatDismal tRUmp needed fresh hairplugs. The ones he got from his mother rejected him.

Lmao that’d be clutch tho Thank you. You bring us smiles and joy. And sometimes rib pains. Stand thee back, Delilah! charlottealexab 💇🏼‍♂️ 誰⁉︎ GreatDismal 10/10 WOULD VOTE ThePessimist12 ☝🏾😂 💀 Like read the actual blogpost Carlsonsports You'd think they'd have given him a cracking set of tits as a payback for voting down their payrises

robdelaney tayz0485 1% skinner Carlsonsports Moustache small black DevinCow He looks weird. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Popehat Mother Nature's a Bitch! Looks more like a politician and less of a distracting mascot. Still the party leader of a party hat has made so many cuts to the nhs and other public services. He‘s regretting Brexit.

Simple swab tests is all this country needs as no one knows if they've got it no tests.NHs worker wont give me test.A ventilator costs thousands simple swab or blood tests cost a few pence .No wonder covoid is spreading no one knows if they have it or not Finance for testing now. Glad Boris is better good for him! Now wheres the covoid tests no wonder figures rising no one knows if they've got it or not no absolutely no tests foor those suffering symptons.Bad figures will continue to rise take Chinas example on testing, supermarket None is offered.

Popehat Oh thank god is back. You all gave up on making fun of US politics, to go after the brits. Don’t blame you, it’s hard to come up with the next craziest thing that doesn’t get him booted before he does exactly that. Over and over and over and over and over and over and o DevinCow Why does he look like a South Park character with his hair cut?

DevinCow Now he looks like mad Sean Spicer.... Popehat Is this Tom Steyer’s hair in him? That's the, I have to poop face, but I'm going to pretend I'm just grumpy, face. He looks serious now. Popehat fuck me it's Mark Meadows DevinCow Well he just lost Trumps kind words at the next small penis rally 🤣

DevinCow 🤣🤣🤣🤣 DevinCow Oops bad timing, dude is in the ICU. DevinCow Whatever works I say. DevinCow He look sad and boring as he probably is DevinCow 😂😂😂 HoarseWisperer What HoarseWisperer OMG he looks almost normal It's wild how much different he looks with normal hair. Popehat I honest to God didn't recognize him.

He doesn’t look like one of Harry Potter’s professors anymore... pity Popehat And a hairbrush! Popehat He looks a bit like Sean Spicer. Popehat Now I know why he does his hair that way! Ok. That was a good laugh. Well done Body Double. It looks like the after pic of a stray dog. The title of this article should have been “the mysterious man with a 5head”.

He doesnt seem so happy with the haircut and combing He looks really pissed Idiot! Trump's twin, both horrible leaders, need to step aside, it vote out, for the sanity if the world, they should go. 🤣👍 hahahaah That's somehow worse maya_pillai It looks like JFK and Donald Trump both went into the teleporter from The Fly at the same time.

They need to teach BorisJohnson to comb his hair too! Thanks Doc, we appreciate it even if he doesn’t. They fixed his brain Anyone else think he looks like The Great Intelligence from Doctor Who? It's a big improvement but would he still remain a member of the Stupid Hair Club with Trump, Kim Jong Un and Michaelia Cash?

dcb97 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 cc EmilyStDenny This is funny! scottfeschuk Brilliant! GDubs897 This made me lol To distinguish him from Trump Oh that's just not right. Does that include a face lift too? He's turned into Ted Heath Can we clip 'The Donald' next. I really want to see that. Trump next Lord He looks like a eyebrow-less Sean Spicer

Naw. They just wanted to... he totally looks like boris johnson tho oh no he has that tiny face disease charlie-kirkism I think they call it HE LOOKS A MILLION TIMES BETTER. I bet the queen didnt like his hair, it did look pretty ridiculous and unprofessional. haircut or hair comb? He looks like Sean Spicer

Might it have been possible to do a Face/Off style operation as well? Should have shaved it all the way. Ha! “I’m sorry, sir. It’s the combover virus” You know what though, that's not a bad job. 'Im not a clone!!'

Jim Gaffigan and his wife are trying to feed New York's front lineMt. Sinai Hospital in New York City is where Jeannie Gaffigan had a near-fatal brain tumor removed in 2017, which is why she and her husband, comedian Jim Gaffigan, are trying to give back to medical personnel on the front line of the coronavirus pandemic Sina is the name of an Arab city in Egypt

Coronavirus: UK live updates, 7,097 deaths and 60,733 coronavirus cases reported in Britain - Business InsiderThe UK has confirmed 7,097 deaths and 60,733 coronavirus cases as Britain suffers its worst day of the COVID-19 pandemic. That’s a shame.

Britain's PM Boris Johnson 'continues to improve' in hospital with coronavirusUK PM Johnson, who spent his fourth night in a London hospital with coronavirus, “continues to improve” and 'is in good spirits,' a government spokesperson says. CURSED of The CENTURY ! INFECTION of The CENTURY ! DEATH toll of The CENTURY ! Finally, God has sent upon Evilest Countries in the world.

Coronavirus: Boris Johnson is responding to intensive care treatment - Business Insider'The Prime Minister remains clinically stable and is responding to treatment,' according to Boris Johnson 's spokesman. Good to hear this news! meanwhile the leftards 🤓 Great news.

Coronavirus: UK live updates, 6,159 deaths and 55,242 coronavirus cases reported in Britain - Business InsiderThe UK has confirmed 6,159 deaths and 55,242 coronavirus cases as Britain suffers its worst day of the COVID-19 pandemic. Why is Boris drawn in black face? That is what the media does. They are dividers!

Coronavirus: Boris Johnson in intensive care, not on COVID-19 ventilator - Business Insider Boris Johnson 'remains stable and has not needed mechanical ventilation overnight,' the UK's health minister said. AdamBienkov And support for any of his other organs? They are being very deliberately specific about the idea it's not his lungs that are the problem. So why is he in an ICU ? It's bollocks tho innit