Inside the Extremely Vanilla World of Pete Buttigieg Fanfiction

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Thirty-eight-year-old presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg would be winning the election if the election was held on Archive of Our Own, an open-source platform of slightly highbrow user-submitted fanworks from a variety of fandoms. On Archive of Our Own, Buttigieg and husband Chasten Glezman are the stars of user-submitted fanfiction or, more specifically, RPF—real person fiction—which has been popular in fannish circles for decades. In these nearly 70 stories, Buttigieg and Glezman’s relationship is the focus. Some of the RPFs are sincere and sweet, while others are House of Cards rip-offs, with Buttigieg advisor Lis Smith delivering Aaron Sorkin-paced dialogue. And then, of course, are the explicit RPFs, which fantasizes about the intimate details of Buttigieg and Glezman’s relationship. AO3's chaotic, free-for-all tagging system with phrases like “it was supposed to be smut but then I killed someone” and “i swear this isn’t straight angst, (it’s gay angst) it’s clear to see why Buttigieg, of all the politicians running for president right now, would become fannish fodder. It’s parasocial relationships with politicians arriving at its most obvious endpoint.

But it’s these details that capture the imagination of their most ardent fanfic admirers, and turns these fics into gay Hallmark movie scripts with a side of Pornhub. And like every Hallmark movie or predictable porno, there are a set of tropes that one can expect in Pete/Chasten fanfic that are impossible to ignore.Chasten can sometimes feel like the manic pixie dreamgirl of the Buttigieg expanded universe.

One reviewer thanked the author for not only writing such a “smoking hot” fic, but managing, however temporarily, to banish some of their negative associations with the Oval Office, likely referring to its current occupant. Another reviewer replied, “We gonna have to deep-Clorox that desk before our favs can do what they gotta do.” A third added, “Clorox the desk and do an exorcism.

 

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This is fucking disgraceful.

hellahydrangea

I don’t think I have enough brain bleach for this

tacky. delete this.

Unnecessary

fr3sh1a That is so good.

now I want to be catapulted off the face of the earth

This is a terrifying image. Thanks for this

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