‘Information About Your Upcoming Flight’ Email Informs Passenger That Airplane Will Go In Sky

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 17 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 10%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

NEW YORK—In an effort to keep customers apprised of what to expect on their trip, a United Airlines email with the subject line “Information About Your Upcoming Flight” reportedly informed passengers Friday that airplane will go in sky. “You go up, up, up!” read the informational email in part, confirming that sky was…

NEW YORK—In an effort to keep customers apprised of what to expect on their trip, a United Airlines email with the subject line “Information About Your Upcoming Flight” reportedly informed passengers Friday that airplane will go in sky.

“You go up, up, up!” read the informational email in part, confirming that sky was up where clouds are. “Sit down in seat on plane and you fly way high in air where are bird and balloon. Whoosh through big blue sky! Yippee!” At press time, the email assured concerned passengers that airplane not go so high that it crash into sun.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

What?!

Clearly not flying Qantas

Useless info… like the direction of the wind at ur destination. Pilots love telling that.

“Later on, it’ll come back to the ground. Hopefully, it’ll do that intentionally and at the place and time we want it to. Otherwise, Whoopsy do!”

They get away with so much nowadays Back in my grandpa's times the planes used to go on tracks. Much safer

Big... if true.

Okay, but what if the engine fails? Will another airplane tow us back to the ground?

Oh thank God I thought it was going to Mars

Amazing what they're doing with airplanes these days.

?

Well it's a cross-country flight, so I'll be going in the sky multiple times

This is good information to have... you can never be too sure about creatures with wings.

Wait. What? I’m going on a plane in a few weeks. No one told me it goes in the sky.

banger

Is that Kate Bosworth? I haven't seen her in anything lately. Did she leave Hollywood for an exciting career as a stock photo model?

I love this site.

Also, the airplane engines will go vroom vroom. Plus, them stewardess tiddies go bounce bounce.

YULAOG lol

Holy Molly i read 'fight' lol

Just up then? No landing intended?

Terrifying

How?

I KNEW IT 😳

ok but where did the stock model get her blazer

Very likely without the passenger, as it already left.

Well, that's good to know.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

CDC requires airlines to share data about passengers traveling from southern AfricaThe CDC has directed airlines and aircraft operators to collect contact information for passengers entering the U.S. from several African countries, as concerns over the omicron variant of the coronavirus mount.
Source: YahooNews - 🏆 380. / 59 Read more »

President Biden to make at-home rapid tests free in new COVID plan'We're expanding our national booster campaign to provide booster shots to all eligible adults,' Pres. Biden says during remarks about his plan to fight COVID-19 this winter. Booster's for US, but not 'for illegal's'
Source: ABC - 🏆 471. / 51 Read more »

Aiming to buy a home in the next year? Do these 4 thingsThe market isn't quite as crazy as it once was, but prices remain sky-high, inventory is low and homes are still going fast. MakeIt good
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »

Hear How a Fifties Novelty Hit Influenced One of PJ Harvey's Best Songs“Let England Shake” demo will feature on upcoming Let England Shake – Demos release
Source: RollingStone - 🏆 483. / 51 Read more »

Hear Moses Sumney Reimagine Himself on 'In Bloom (In the Woods)'Moses Sumney has released a new version of his song 'In Bloom,' off the musician's upcoming album and film 'Live From Blacklachia.'
Source: RollingStone - 🏆 483. / 51 Read more »

Foo Fighters Get the Rock Out, But Not the Demons, in New 'Studio 666' TeaserFoo Fighters confront a host of demons, monsters, and ghosts in the new teaser for their upcoming horror-comedy flick, 'Studio 666.' mumbosteve
Source: RollingStone - 🏆 483. / 51 Read more »