Incredibly 13% of Americans Are Satisfied with How Things Are Going

What do they know? What are their secrets?

8/5/2020 6:51:00 PM

Incredibly 13% of Americans Are Satisfied with How Things Are Going

What do they know? What are their secrets?

Who are these people? I need names. Let's look at potential suspects.While you can never really tell what your friends, neighbors, and co-hosts are thinking—as is proven by the NextDoor app and also all of American history—I think we can safely rule out one person: Angelica Schuyler. Famously not satisfied. She sang a whole song about it, which could have been a diversionary tactic but the formal inventiveness alone leads me to believe she meant it. Dissatisfaction is kind of the whole brand. Don't even bother polling Angelica Schuyler about whether she is one of the Americans who are satisfied. She'll be like"Do you not have Disney+? I have literally been belting about how not satisfied I am eight times a week for years. You really got on Alexander Graham Bell's phone lines to waste your breath with this query? Hang up immediately. I'm sailing off the London. I will not be returning unless there is some ill-advised and totally avoidable scandal that involves extortion and writing a book report about adultery."

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This content is imported from Giphy. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.So, that's one American that we don't have to question. But literally everyone else is a possibility. Trust no one. You closest loved one could be just sitting there satisfied with

::gestures broadly::Can you imagine?! We're in the middle of a national debate wherein one side's argument is"a strip of cloth is taking away my Constitutional rights", the climate continues to change because as it turns out the real villain was massive companies with names like Globe Murderer Incorporated, LLC, we only got half a season of

The Good Fightand, to top it all off, I don't knowwhenI'm going to get to see the Christopher Nolan filmTENETin theaters as God intended! Does this look like satisfaction to you?!Who could possibly be satisfied? The easy answer would be Trump and his band of Hamburglars but have you seen those people? They're miserable! Which, like, good. But they're definitely not responding to a Gallup survey claiming to be satisfied. Chances are they're not responding to any survey that they don't already know the answers to anyway.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. Read more: ELLE Magazine (US) »

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