In Small Town Midwest, My Mother Refused to Be Invisible

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'We were the only Korean family in our town, but my mom never dressed to fall in with the people around her.'

My mother came to America at the age of 21, newly graduated and newly wed, whip-smart with doll-like eyes and good dress sense. Without hesitation, she packed her bags in Seoul and joined my father in Chicago. I arrived three years later.

She readied us like a captain outfitting soldiers for battle. Suddenly it mattered more what we wore. She chose crisp suits and collared shirts for my father, scolding him on days he wore the wrong socks. She laid out my clothes as always, my favorite skirts and shirts, always matching. She perhaps hoped that dressing well would compensate for our color. Nice clothes might make us more palatable.

I came home and told my mom no more dresses or skirts. I told her that I wanted to look like everyone else. I wanted to blend in. She knew that I never would. Only when I was grown would I understand. The eyes that followed us whenever we walked in a room. The curious gaze that always lingered a moment too long. “Why did you come here?” it seemed to ask.Still, that weekend she drove us to the nearest mall, a half-hour north, and let me run around the kids’ Gap.

 

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Wow

I just told my sister it is not difficult to be the best dressed person in the room these days.

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