Imbalancing Act: A Single Mom With Covid-19 Symptoms Self-Isolates Away From Her Daughters

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'It was this internal struggle, as I think moms have all the time, regardless of a global pandemic, about am I doing the right thing for my kid. There was something so acute about those feelings in this moment of heightened vigilance'

I actually took my girls out of school early on March 5th, a week before the official order came down for California schools to close. I work very closely with the children’s hospitals in the Bay Area, that’s part of my job at Ronald McDonald House Charities.

mandatory precautions were issued for hospitals to close down anything considered non-clinical, and that included our Ronald McDonald House and the programs that we were providing. They also would no longer let more than one caregiver into the hospital at a time, so there were all kinds of family members that needed to get home—siblings, or one of the parents, that were staying locally and needed to go home. It was sweeping and it was immediate.

I felt like a terrible mom. Here is this disruptive moment in our life and I’ve pawned my kids off on other people. Then, 30 seconds later, I would have the complete opposite thought: No, I am being the best mom I can be right now by protecting them. It was this internal struggle, as I think moms have all the time, regardless of a global pandemic, about am I doing the right thing for my kid. But there was something so acute about those feelings in this moment of heightened vigilance.

It’s also about protecting them even now that the courts are closed. My husband and I are separated, we’re not officially divorced yet, because all the courts are closed right now, so we have to prolong this even more. The reason we split was because of a domestic violence issue, and I had to get a restraining order. Although that is in place, a lot of the details haven’t been fully ironed out.

 

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