I Wasn’t Prepared For How Much I Hate Toddler Tantrums

that tantrums occur an average of once per day with a median duration of three minutes, which, they failed to mention in the study, scientifically feels like five to six hours., the part of the brain that’s charged with impulse control and emotional regulation. “As a result, toddlers arefeelings.

As Harmon explains, tantrums set off a chain reaction in parents, one in which their child’s behavior triggers certain thoughts, which lead to strong emotions, which then lead to outward actions. All of this is automatic, she says, so parents are often unaware of what’s driving their own behavior. The most common emotion that leads to a dysregulated reaction in parents? Anger. “So many adults were raised with the message that anger is bad and unacceptable,” Harmon says.

Which is to say that, in the throes of my three-year-old’s worst tantrums, I’ve flown off the handle. I’ve watched myself act in ways that are completely out of character: yelling, threatening, snapping. The other night, my daughter woke me from a dead sleep at 2 A.M., screaming in frustration because she couldn’t arrange her blankets perfectly flat in her bed. Exhausted, disoriented, and frustrated myself — we’ve been dealing with this blanket perfectionism for weeks — I lost my cool, too.

that negative parental reactions to tantrums are associated with low social competence and more negative emotions in kids.supposed to do when your child throws a tantrum. You should remain calm, validate their feelings, give them a tight hug; you should practice mindfulness techniques, keep your face neutral; you should crouch down to their level, distract them; you should ignore and ride out the meltdown.

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