The psychiatrist smoothed her skirt and stood."I think you should see one of my colleagues." She went to the phone on her desk.I looked at Angela, whose dove eyes had in them only sympathy.This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.She and Angela drove me to a private hospital called Mercy. I was being escorted—that was clear. An image of my mother and me in the cab on the way to the eating disorders unit so long ago came to me.
I was shown to the day room with the other patients. It had none of the melodrama usually imparted to"psych wards" in movies and in books. The TV on the wall was muted. Four guys sat at a table playing cards. They didn't even look depressed. On a side table were coffee and tea. The hospital must always have been that calm if the staff didn't worry about anyone throwing hot liquid on them or each other, I thought. The room was so quiet that for a moment I wanted to stay.
The room I was assigned had two beds. Panic filled me."Am I going to have a roommate?" I asked the nurse. It wasn't a hotel moment. I wasn't telling the management the room didn't please me. Sleeping in a room with someone in the same space—with the world so unreal and me disappearing—was impossible. I'd crack for good."Alprazolam." When I didn't respond, she smiled."Xanax."After she was gone, I sat on the bed.
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