'I Realized I Was Gay': Men Who Came Out Later In Life Are Sharing What It Was Like For Them To Reveal That Truth And Live Authentically

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'I realized I could still give my beautiful wife of 17 amazing years the life she deserved, with a man that wasn’t living a divided life.'

"I am 80. I was married with two daughters and grew up in a liberal state, but it was a very different world back then. I admired jocks but didn't have thoughts of actual sex with men. There was no porn or role models in those days. At age 30, I decided I wanted to explore sex with a man while I was still young. It happened at age 31. My first time blew me away, the feel of that hard jock body under me.

It has been hugely validating to be open and share my husband with the world. I have a lot of stories about folks who were homophobic but came around to accepting me and honoring me for being a gay man, once they got to know me beyond what I do in bed." —"I’m 50. I accepted my bisexuality at 45, but had my first experience with a guy at 32. I spent the next 13 years debating if I liked the experience or not.

I'm now profoundly pessimistic, and think the journey for me pretty much ends with self-acceptance. I wonder if I'd accepted I'm gay when I was 20, if things would have been much different. Hard to say and hard to imagine that alternate reality." —"I'm currently 39, and came out around age 27-28. I was raised in the religious 'you can change' culture. I was fairly certain I wouldn't change, but I felt like I owed it to God to try.

I ended up being sent away to the USA for work for a few months which gave me time to reflect. When I got back, it was lockdown. I was so depressed, I ended up going into the garage to try and kill myself using an exit bag. I passed out but my family found me. I ended up seeing a therapist. We dug into my past trauma and also my sexuality.

All this is still very new to me. I’m only a few months in. I’m still very nervous. Very shaky, but for the first time in many years I don’t feel depressed. I feel energized and enthusiastic for the future. The therapy has helped wonders, but so has being honest with everyone." —"I’m in the process of coming out right now to my wife of six years. We’ve been together for ten years. I’m 33 years old.

 

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