I read my kid’s text messages, IM’s, DM’s and I even hang around when she’s FaceTiming. I don’t snoop privately, behind her back. I do it right in front of her.
I never took my lack of privacy as an affront to my ability to become an adult. My parents were in charge, and they were there to teach me what was right and wrong. Thedoes not remove that responsibility from our shoulders. In fact, I argue that it makes it even more necessary. That’s why my kids sign a contract when they get their phones. They agree that their phones are public family property, open for inspection at any time without notice.
Here’s the thing about this kind of relationship — since she knows I’m going to see it anyway, and she knows that I don’t “freak out” if I read something I don’t like; she volunteers more information than I would ever be able to discover on my own . Not only did she come to me and tell me when a boy asked her to send a “bootie pic,” but she showed me the text conversation where he askeddaughter for one, too.
I’m often shocked when I see the other side of these kids . I read thoughts that I didn’t know she had. I learnkinds of acronyms that you probably don’t realize exist. We use the snaps and text messages as a conversation starter, not a judgment zone. I don’t fix the problems for her, even when I really,It’s not a perfect system. Sometimes she hates it and sometimes I do, too. It can be boring, infuriating and time consuming. It can be stressful, painful, and confusing.
Wow. My oldest is only 4 but I am going to definitely be doing this when he gets electronics.
You can set their phones up so you’re an additional recipient, then put the settings under an admin passcode (my husband is a former IT guy, so he knows all the tricks). You can’t see photos, but you can’t get texts.
There first thing my daughter's friends taught her was to delete texts.
I’ve gotten lax about checking my teenagers’ phones. Thanks for reminding me how important it is.
I was that parent and now my daughter is that parent. Not that she doesn’t trust my granddaughter but to make sure who is who around her.
Ummm...yikes. I’ve raised three humans. I don’t think it’s necessary or healthy to b so intrusive. You do your best to instill your values and morals and then you step back. This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all.
Yes!!!oh how I can relate to this on so many levels teenageboymom donttrustteenagegirls iwasoneonce
Thank you for posting this. I’m not quite there yet, but it has certainly given me food for thought when the day comes to give my child a phone....! 🤔x
I do too every now and then I will check her text messages. I thought my kid was weird. Her friends def take over that title. LOL
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