I read my kid’s text messages, IM’s, DM’s and I even hang around when she’s FaceTiming. I don’t snoop privately, behind her back. I do it right in front of her.
I never took my lack of privacy as an affront to my ability to become an adult. My parents were in charge, and they were there to teach me what was right and wrong. Thedoes not remove that responsibility from our shoulders. In fact, I argue that it makes it even more necessary. That’s why my kids sign a contract when they get their phones. They agree that their phones are public family property, open for inspection at any time without notice.
Here’s the thing about this kind of relationship — since she knows I’m going to see it anyway, and she knows that I don’t “freak out” if I read something I don’t like; she volunteers more information than I would ever be able to discover on my own . Not only did she come to me and tell me when a boy asked her to send a “bootie pic,” but she showed me the text conversation where he askeddaughter for one, too.
I’m often shocked when I see the other side of these kids . I read thoughts that I didn’t know she had. I learnkinds of acronyms that you probably don’t realize exist. We use the snaps and text messages as a conversation starter, not a judgment zone. I don’t fix the problems for her, even when I really,It’s not a perfect system. Sometimes she hates it and sometimes I do, too. It can be boring, infuriating and time consuming. It can be stressful, painful, and confusing.
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