'I'm Not This Guy's First Choice': How Joe Pantoliano Built a Career on the Edges

hit theaters. He’d gotten to know creator David Chase years earlier when he auditioned for a role on, where Chase worked as a writer. Chase offered him the role of Ralphie, but the money HBO offered wasn't right. So the role went to somebody else. Soon, some behind-the-scenes shuffling saw that actor exit, and Pantoliano was given the money he'd asked for.

"The wig I had them build as an homage to Chris Nolan," says Pantoliano. "I like Chris' hair. And I told David, 'I live in Hoboken, New Jersey. That's the epicenter ofIn one of the darkest and most controversial moments in, Ralph beats a young woman, Tracee, to death after she tells him she is pregnant with his child.

"He was always so generous and fun-loving, and frustrated sometimes because of the workload," says Pantoliano. "Jimmy was the sun and we were all the planets that were circling him. That responsibility could wear you down." After two seasons of antagonizing Tony Soprano, Ralphie finally met his end in a fight to the death with the mob boss. Tony believed Ralphie had burned down a stable, killing the beloved horse Pie-o-My for insurance money. Chase to this day has never said if Ralphie did indeed kill the horse, and he told the actor to decide for himself. Pantoliano played it as though Ralphie were innocent.

Almost as soon as the speech ended, he was succumbing to self-doubt. "It was a high. It felt good at that moment," he wrote in his 2012 memoir,. "But then my voices started whispering negative thoughts in the back of my mind: 'Big deal. It's only a Emmy. It ain't enough. You're not enough.'" He began noticing ways Hollywood discriminated against mental health issues. At one point, he was informed an insurance company wouldn't insure him on a project because he had been prescribed the antidepressant Lexapro. He had to sign a waiver stating that if his depression caused a work stoppage, he would be financially responsible for the lost days on set.

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But, does he say 'Whoerr' in the interview?

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😂😂😂👍

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