I'm A Sensual Person & Happily Married To An Asexual Partner

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'With a little help, my ace-fluid partner and I have found a few shiny little relationship devices to get us through our rockier conflicts.'

, I ran to the store as an excuse to get some alone time. I came home with a special toy to help us both relax. Emily was well into her own excuse for alone time when I knocked on the door, asking if we could talk. I waited the appropriate amount of time but no response. That’s when I turned the thing on and broke our angry stalemate with a bleating, comical fart sound.

Still, there are those agitations that even a fart machine doesn’t fix. Since Emily is both an extrovert and on, and I am introverted and sensual, time with friends and personal space used to boost her and my mood, respectively. In the clutches of different lockdowns, I needed another avenue for support. Sadly, finding resources or even healthy depictions of asexuals in relationships can be difficult and more depressing than celebrating the holidays without your grandma.

Whether you are a supportive friend, brimming with questions or committed to an asexual , the hunt for relationship tools is often discouraging. Fear not, though! As awareness of queer spectrum identities begins to saturate some media outlets, falling in love with an asexual person doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship or your sex life.

Recently, I asked a counselor for their perspective on marriage to an ace-spectrum person. They promptly directed me to the. When I pressed them for ace-specific tools, they admitted:"Without a large client pool, most [therapists] are still looking for effective practice. I might ask [a client] to draw a representation of the values you both place on your identities and sex. Marriage has less to do with orientation and more to do with communication.

 

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