Just getting outside boosted my spirits, even though the neighborhood felt bleak and raw. Approaching the bodega, I peered inside. If it had been crowded, I would have kept walking, but it was late at night and basically empty. So I bought that ham, along with a box of macaroni and cheese, a can of tuna fish, and a container of instant ramen. What was I planning to do with these ingredients? No idea. I just grabbed what I wanted and that was that.
As soon as I got back to my apartment, I washed my hands, put a pot of water on the stove, and opened the box of mac and cheese. Waiting for the water to boil, I already felt more at ease. I wasn’t beating myself up for not, or for ignoring the bunch of kale that’s been sitting idle in my fridge for days. I was giving myself permission to eat exactly what I was craving, even if it isn’t made from scratch.
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