I Lived The Real-Life '90 Day Fiancé.' Here's What They Don't Show You.

It all started in 2008. I was 20 years old and had just arrived in Granada, Spain, for a study abroad program. I met Tiago a few nights after arriving in Spain while out for tapas and. He’s from Brazil, and we bonded over the fact that we were both learning Spanish. We hit it off and ended up going on our first official date a few days later. He was sweet, funny, intelligent and very handsome. The more I got to know him, the harder I fell.

Tiago flew by himself to Rio de Janeiro to go to the interview at the U.S. Consulate. I remember waiting by my computer all day for him to sign in to Skype to give me the good news. The hours dragged on and on. When he finally called, he told me he didn’t get the visa. And just like that, my world came crashing down.

Life in Brazil was harder than I could have ever imagined, but the reality of the situation was that I didn’t know when I’d be going home, if ever. So I hunkered down and learned to love the language, the food, the people and the culture. That being said, the violence and corruption was rampant and it was hard not to live in fear. We were working really hard to save up for another round of immigration paperwork, but we were barely making ends meet.

The day of Tiago’s interview, I was sick to my stomach. I already knew we were going to be denied, but the whole process was extremely nerve-wracking. I couldn’t believe how cold and rude the American immigration officer was. I know their job is to ensure the safety of our nation and to control who is coming in, but it feels absolutely horrendous to have your life under their microscope.

I was scared. I knew I was facing extreme hardship, but looking at this list, I didn’t know if my suffering would be considered extreme enough for Tiago to be granted a waiver. I didn’t have any serious medical conditions. I had just graduated from college before I moved to Brazil, so I didn’t have to disrupt my education or leave behind a career. I didn’t have any children to leave behind or bring to Brazil to face hardships.

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