Balancing strong, recurring fantasies about a specific kind of person against objectification is a delicate endeavor. And dating apps inherently encourage us to make snap decisions about people based on a frequently cursory profile.
Your stage fright, given your inexperience, is reasonable. Your concern is serving as a valuable protector of your boyfriend’s anus—that it’s your wisdom saying “whoa, there, we need to get some information first.” Always use lube for anal. I wouldn’t recommend anything marketed as “warming” or “tingly,” and I consider numbing lubes a safety risk—because if you can’t feel what’s going on, you can’t feel your body’s limits, and you certainly won’t be able to communicate them to your partner effectively. You’ll also want to take care to match the material of the toy you’re using to the type of lube.
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