I Firmly Believe In Bodily Autonomy, But My Kid Has To Brush Her Hair

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The truth is that I may never find the right balance.

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I’m annoyed that their obsession with their iPads means they aren’t ready on time, but even more, I’m annoyed at my daughter’s complete and total apathy when it comes to her hair. She got dressed and brushed her teeth, so why didn’t she brush her hair?

Fast forward 30 years and I have a daughter who couldn’t care less about being “done.” She does not care one iota about what people think of how she looks. She has no interest in my makeup or a curling wand. I not only love this about her, I admire it and often wish I was better at channeling it. As a result, I support her choice of clothes, her choice of footwear, her choice of jewelry and accessories. She can wear what makes her happy and look the way that brings her joy.

The truth is those knots drive me absolutely bonkers, but my response fills me with guilt. I worry that if I push too much, I’m going to give her a complex, or worse, slowly erode that amazing ability she has to be wholly herself, unbothered by what anyone else thinks of her.

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