‘I don't want a permanent freeloader as a boyfriend’: We met during the pandemic — and he moved 900 miles to be with me

I’m a 48-year-old single professional mom of two school-aged kids. I have an annual salary of about $200,000 and a net worth about $1.2 million. I unexpectedly found a pandemic romance with an old flame.

He has lived with me free for six months. I have paid for trips, household groceries, and 95% of dining out. My boyfriend has a net worth of around $150,000 — including his house and 401 — and he has an $80,000 annual salary. You don’t really get to know someone until you have lived with them, so know that most people start as they mean to continue. He has arrived and — notwithstanding his own mortgage responsibilities — stood by while you paid not only for groceries, but also for trips and dinners out. The tablecloth in your kitchen is currently woven from red flags.

If he showed the same willingness to contribute financially to your household as he has shown to uproot his life and move 900 miles to be with you, we would not be having this conversation. But his actions thus far do not add up.

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