How to stop caring what people think about you

Animals, Cats, Culture, Future-Blink

It's not simple, but it can be done.

Animals, Cats

2/26/2020

It's not simple, but it can be done.

It's not simple. But it's part of being human.data-page-subject=true

observed that humans exhibit"classic reward-seeking lab-rat behaviour, the sort that's observed when lab rats are put in front of an unpredictable food dispenser." "That is what keeps us scrolling, scrolling, pressing our lever over and over in the hopes of getting some fleeting sensation— some momentary rush of recognition, flattery or rage," Tolentino added. Depending on likes and retweets from social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, she in a New Yorker piece, is akin to"playing a slot machine that tells you whether or not people love you." Give yourself a break from the prism of online validation. Image: vicky leta / Mashable Try to establish some hard limits in your screen and scrolling time. In Trick Mirror , Tolentino wrote that she gives herself boundaries like no Instagram stories, no app notifications, and uses apps that shut down her Instagram and Twitter usage after 45 minutes of daily use. Niels Eék — psychologist and co-founder of mental wellbeing and self-development platform Remente — recommended a digital detox . This involves"switching off all your screens for a certain length of time, ideally for 24 hours. If you feel that 24 hours is too long, then try to first switch off all of your notifications for a few hours, and then proceed to switch off the devices altogether for longer and longer each time." Identify where your own approval-seeking comes from Everyone is different and our need for approval and validation can manifest in very different ways. Eék gave me some examples of how this behaviour can be exhibited including:"Changing your opinion when noticing that others disapprove of what you’ve said and done; not complaining when you feel that you’ve been mistreated; pretending to know something when you definitely don't; and apologising too much, even when you know you’ve done nothing wrong." Klemich suggested being courageous and honest with yourself by asking the following question: Where does my approval-seeking come from? You might have to look back into your past to figure that out, which isn't always comfortable."Approval-seeking is usually a childhood-created coping strategy. Did you feel a need to get love from your parents and create ways to gain their approval? Did you struggle to make friends at school, and subsequently develop a fear of being rejected?" she said."By identifying where the approval-seeking started, you can identify the types of situations that trigger your need for approval in your current life." SEE ALSO: What to do when body image is affecting your sex life If you're struggling with a fear of rejection, you can develop a need for validation, which manifests as people-pleasing. Klemich said this means people expend emotional energy worrying what others think of them, even sometimes running through mental scenarios and practicing what to say in different situations so that everything goes exactly the way we want it to. "Sometimes we simply care too much about what people think of us, usually when we suffer from low self-esteem or seek extra stability in our lives, perhaps if we have been excessively judged in childhood, or have been made to feel we are not good enough or were bullied," Klemich said."Our self-worth becomes overly entangled with what others think about us. This in itself can then lead to low self-esteem and lack of confidence as we go about our daily lives thereby needing extra validation from others." Try journaling To begin to start caring less about other people's perceptions of you, it could be worth giving journaling a go. If that doesn't sound like something you'd usually do, stay with me. Eék pointed out that there are a lot of benefits to journaling — boosting self-esteem can be one of them. "Most importantly, it provides you with the time and space to reflect. Too often we spend time on mundane day-to-day tasks, but not nearly enough time reflecting on our past and present, so try to consider recent events, how you’re truly feeling about your life at present, where your priorities lie, and what you hope to achieve long-term," said Eék."Journaling is also an outlet for processing emotions, and doing it on an ongoing basis can help increase your self-awareness." Set clear boundaries When we're hellbent on keeping other people happy, it can be difficult to establish clear boundaries. But it's extremely important."When we can’t say no because our need to be approved by others is greater than our ability to set appropriate boundaries, practice explaining your reasoning of why you would like to do something but that you can’t right now," said Klemich."Start being honest with yourself when you take on a new task or commitment — ask yourself, are you doing it because it is 'right' for you, or because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval?" Evaluate your weekly tasks and consider which of them might be driven by people-pleasing — make a list if that helps. Klemich advised working through that list and making some honest decisions about whether or not you need to do it. Evaluate your weekly tasks and consider which of them might be driven by people-pleasing. Sarah Griffiths — a specialist trauma and abuse therapist — advised asking for change if situations arise that might violate your boundaries, like if someone speaks to you in a way that you don't like."With tone of voice, if you decide that contempt, impatience and irritation is not acceptable, the next time it happens, simply say, 'Please don't talk to me like that,' and just be firm and don't engage when someone is speaking to you in a tone that is unacceptable to you," she said."Another good one is to ask, 'Why are you speaking to me like that?' 'What is your motivation for what you just said?' or 'Why did you just say/do that?'" Boost your self-acceptance When you feel approval-seeking urges affecting your wellbeing, working on your self-acceptance can be really helpful, Eék said. That includes body acceptance and believing in your own self-worth. Accepting your body doesn't happen overnight, but there are Read more: Mashable

How SAD Happens: The Development of Social Anxiety DisorderIt’s hard not to care what other people think of you. Here’s how that tendency can go awry in social anxiety disorder. Isn't SAD the acronym for seasonal affective disorder.... Rap I agree..Humans are social creatures. The truth is we all care about what others say and think.

Column: Candidates love the 'ethnic food' photo op, but there are better ways to reach nonwhite votersColumnist frankshyong goes on a food crawl of popular L.A. campaign stops to talk to people about the effectiveness of candidates' attempts to reach people of color.

21 More Dumb But Funny Things People Actually Thought As Kids'I thought the world was in black and white before the 1940s.' Source: Thomas R.The Horror of Homelessness.Washington, D.C.Freedman & Sheeran Publishing, 1996.

This serum gave me full, fluffy brows and lashes so long, people thought they were extensionsThousands of shoppers swear by GrandeLash and GrandeBrow, and I'm now one of them.

Why Do So Many People Think Shawn Mendes Is Marshmello?If someone searched for Shawn Mendes, they'd find thousands of fans trying to find out if the singer is secretly the masked DJ, Marshmello.

Sheermal: Northern India’s Lesser Known But (We Think) Superior FlatbreadThis fragrant Indian bread from the lesser-known Awadhi cuisine trumps naans, parathas, and chapatis.



Troye Sivan's 'Take Yourself Home' Is a Gloom-Pop Bop

Coast Guard Tells Cruise Ships With COVID-19 Cases To Stay Away From U.S. Ports

Trojan Introduces New Anti-Anxiety Weighted Condoms

O.J. Simpson Convinced Carole Baskin Killed Her Husband, 'Tiger Sashimi'

Careless Imprisoned Migrants Showing Zero Respect For Social-Distancing Rules

Pelosi: Trump and McConnell 'should not try to hide behind' impeachment excuse over coronavirus response

'Stacy's Mom' Singer Adam Schlesinger Dead at 52 from Coronavirus

Write Comment

Thank you for your comment.
Please try again later.

Latest News

News

25 February 2020, Tuesday News

Previous news

Stephen Colbert gleefully mocks the Democrats during live post-debate show

Next news

BBC One Buys NBCUniversal-Distributed Australian Drama ‘Five Bedrooms’
Some Coronavirus Patients Show Signs of Brain Ailments Five-Year-Old Boy Dies on Hiking Trail After Lost Mom Leaves Him Alone to Find Help Retired Doctor Dies from Coronavirus After Working at Hospital During COVID-19 Outbreak A Ventilator Stockpile, With One Hitch: Thousands Do Not Work Trump administration announces crackdown on international drug trade amid pandemic More than 1,600 veterans test positive for coronavirus at VA, 53 deaths Tekashi 6ix9ine should be considered for early release because of coronavirus, judge says Elon Musk's SpaceX bans Zoom over privacy concerns: memo This Boss Accidentally Turned Herself Into A Potato For A Video Meeting And Couldn't Figure Out How To Fix It 'It is impossible for us to stop the spread’: Nursing homes overwhelmed by coronavirus Ohio health care company donating 2.2 million medical gowns to national stockpile GOP Rep. Devin Nunes again questions coronavirus distancing measures, calls California school closures 'way overkill'
Troye Sivan's 'Take Yourself Home' Is a Gloom-Pop Bop Coast Guard Tells Cruise Ships With COVID-19 Cases To Stay Away From U.S. Ports Trojan Introduces New Anti-Anxiety Weighted Condoms O.J. Simpson Convinced Carole Baskin Killed Her Husband, 'Tiger Sashimi' Careless Imprisoned Migrants Showing Zero Respect For Social-Distancing Rules Pelosi: Trump and McConnell 'should not try to hide behind' impeachment excuse over coronavirus response 'Stacy's Mom' Singer Adam Schlesinger Dead at 52 from Coronavirus U.S. Census Announces Those People Will Be Majority By 2043 Dolly Parton donates $1 million toward coronavirus research Coronavirus live updates: Cases top 860,000 globally - CNN Adam Schlesinger, Emmy Winner and Fountains of Wayne Cofounder, Dies of Coronavirus Complications Florida governor will sign executive order telling people to stay at home