How To Protect Your Personal Information Online

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Following the recent data breach at retail giant Target, which exposed credit card numbers and personal information of as many as 110 million people, many Americans have grown concerned about their safety and privacy online. Here is The Onion’s guide to keeping your personal information secure from hackers:

Always log into your Gmail account in person by traveling to Mountain View, CA and letting the Google folks know it’s you.

For usernames and passwords, choose something that’s easy for you to remember: a phrase you know you’ll never forget, like “Buchenw@ld,” “Dachau#!,” or “Bergen-Bel$en.” Always be aware of your surroundings when accessing sensitive information in public. Listen closely for anyone nearby subsequently tapping on their laptop and then muttering, “I’m in.”

 

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The only thing stopping a bad hacker with a gun is a good hacker with a gun.

Remember that if you offer hackers unconditional love they will no longer feel the need to hack ❤️

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